Total Cartoon Island Return
by LordryuTJ
Summary: 26 campers go back to Camp Wawanakwa to compete for two billion dollars. T for language.
1. The Return to Wawanakwa

TCIR EP1: The Return to Wawanakwa

(It shows the dock and Lake Ontario. Chris pops up on-screen)

Chris: Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario, I'm your host, Chris Maclean, dropping season 4 of the very famous crossover reality show, right now! Here's the deal, 26 of the contestants have signed up to spend nine weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, ha ha, and leave Total Cartoon Island Return for good! (moves to campfire pit) Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive... a marshmallow. (takes a bite of one marshmallow) In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and two billion dollars, which let's face it: they're probably blow in a month. To survive, they'll have to battle... Black flies...

(flies buzzing)

Chris: Grizzly Bears,

(grizzly bear roars)

Chris: Disgusting Camp Food!

Grub on Plate: Hey now.

Chris: And, each other! Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of camera situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here right now on...TOTAL…..CARTOON…..ISLAND RETURN!!!

(The TCIR theme song plays)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme)

(A bus lands on the dock of shame. The door opens revealing all 26 campers. All the campers come out of the bus and look around)

Mung: We're back here? Well, that's a _shave_! (Laughs)

Chowder: (Bursts out laughing) Shave! Funny!

Truffles: I don't get it. And stop making cracks about stuff! (Slaps Mung on the back of his head)

(Chris walks onto the screen)

Chris: Hello, campers! Welcome to your home for the next nine weeks! Let's split you into teams. The teams are…

Killer Bass:

Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Duncan, Courtney, Harold, Peter, Jen, Jonsey, Jude, Chowder, Mung, Truffles.

and…

Screaming Gophers:

Owen, Gwen, Heather, Justin, Leshawna, Beth, Lindsay, Izzy, Cody, Trent, Candace, Phineas, Ferb.

Chris: Let's take a group picture before we start. Everyone say Wawanakwa!

All campers: WAWANAKWA!!! (The dock breaks under them before Chris takes the picture) WHOA!!!

Chris: Okay, dry up and we'll get to the mess hall!

(At the mess hall…)

Chef: Listen up! I cook it three times a day and you _eat_ it three times a day! So grab your tray, get your food and sit your butts down now!

Mung: Uh, I don't think rabbits go in hot dogs, chef.

Chef: Don't care! I need you to SIT YOUR ASS DOWN NOW!!!!! (His loud voice breaks Mung's nose and ears)

Mung: I, uh, eesh! Don't be as loud as Truffles is while the shift happens! Cover for me, Harold. (Gives Harold his rabbit hot dog)

Harold: Uh, I'm still hypoglycemic.

(Chowder is eating his food and his tray)

Truffles: (Groans) Do you have to eat the tray?

(Chowder had just swallowed his tray)

Chowder: Yes…

Chris: Get ready! Your first challenge starts in 40 minutes!

Chowder: What do you think they'll make us do?

Mung: It's our first challenge. How hard can it be? (cut to a scene where the campers are on top of a huge cliff) Oh shit!

(To be continued)


	2. Jump and or Die

TCIR EP2: Jump or Die

(Recap)

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, 26 campers were able to participate in this competition, and have to do the first challenge. (Cut to the cliff in the cliffhanger on episode 1)

Mung: Oh, shit.

(Theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(Back to TCIR)

Chris: Your first challenge is to jump off this very tall cliff. If you look down, you can see two zones. The wide zone is filled with hungry, vicious man-eating sharks! (The sharks roar)

Chowder: Mung… I'm scared!

Shark: (It grunts as it is pointing to a tattoo on its chest that is saying "MOM")

Chris: …The smaller zone is your shark free target. If someone refuses to jump off the cliff due to fear or a medical condition, you will have to wear a chicken hat for the rest of the day. The team with the most that have jumped and survived will win invincibility. The losers will send somebody home. Let's see…… Killer Bass! You're up!

Owen: (about the challenge) Don't sweat it, guys. I heard that these shows always make the interns do the stunt first to make sure it's survivable.

(Cuts to a flashback with Chris and Chef on top of the cliff)

Chris: We need to test the stunts first. You know that.

Chef: Do I look like an intern to you?

Chris: No, but the ones we had are all in the hospital. C'mon, just jump it, you big chicken. (makes chicken noises)

Chef : (while putting goggles on) I don't get paid enough for this, man. (Jumps off the cliff) AAAAAHHH!!!!! (Lands outside of the safe zone) Hey! I-I made it! (Gets scared as something touches him) Something just brushed up my leg! (A shark pops up) AAAHHH!!! AH! (Runs off)

Chris: Well. That seems safe enough.

(Cut back to the present time)

Chris: Who's first?

Bridgette: (Looking over the cliff) Whoa! So… who's going first?

(The other Basses don't say anything for a while)

Peter: No. I don't think so.

Bridgette: Okay. Here I go. (Jumps off the cliff and lands in the safe zone)

Chris: That's one jumper.

Chowder: I'm gonna do it and get it over with! Cannonball! (Jumps off the cliff balled up into a cannonball pose and lands in the safe zone)

(Next is Mung, flailing like a frighten flounder)

Mung: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

(Truffles follows looking scared)

Truffles: AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

(Duncan is next not felling anything)

(Jen and Jonsey are next, both jumping without fear together)

DJ: Uh-uh. No way, man. I'm not jumping.

Chris: Scared of heights?

DJ: Yeah. Ever since I was a kid.

Chris: That's okay, big guy. Unfortunately, that also makes you a chicken. So, you'll have to wear this... (puts chicken hat on DJ) ...for the rest of the day.

DJ: Aww, man. For real?!

Chris: Bawk bawk bawk! That means, the chicken path down is that-a-way. Next!

Jude: (jumps) Yee-haw! (a big rock sticks out of the side of the cliff and Jude hits it and tumbles round and round, but still lands in the safe zone. All the people cheer, Jude comes up with a thumbs-up)

(Geoff is next, excited as usual)

Geoff: WHOOOO-HOOOO!!!!! (Lands in the safe zone) Whoo!!

(Peter jumps down and laughs. He lands in the safe zone)

Harold: Yes! Whaaaa!!! (Harold is falling in a perfect split and lands in the safe zone, but on his crotch; all of the guys are shocked; even the sharks are shocked) AAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAH!!! (covers his groin) AAAAAAH! (sinks down into the water)

Chris: Ooooh. Hate to see that happen.

Courtney: Excuse me, Chris. I have a medical condition.

Chris: What condition?

Courtney: A condition that prevents me from jumping off cliffs.

Chris: You can chicken out of you want, but it might end up costing your team the win. And then they'll hate you.

Courtney: It's a calculated risk. I've seen the other team, and I don't think nine of them will jump. (cuts to the Screaming Gophers, looking strange)

Chris: All right...(puts chicken hat on Courtney, Courtney stares at it surprisingly)...here is your chicken hat. Let's tally up the results. That's… eleven jumpers and two chickens. No more bass are left. Gophers, you're next. Who's first?

(The gophers look at Heather)

Heather: Oh, no. I'm not doing it.

Leshawna: And why not?

Heather: Duh! Public television! I'll get my hair wet.

Lindsay: If she's not doing it, _I'm_ not doing it!

Leshawna: Oh you're doing it!

Heather: Says who?!

Leshawna: Says me! I'm not losing this challenge cause you got your hair did, you spoiled little daddy's girl!

Heather: Back off, ghetto-glamour, too-tight-pants-wearing, rap-star wannabe!

Leshawna: Mall-shopping, ponytail-wearing, teen girl-reading, peeking in high school prom queen!

Heather: Well, at least I'm popular.

(Gwen looks surprised, then it goes to Justin who has a sparkle on his teeth)

Leshawna: You're jumping.

Heather: Make me.

(Leshawna grabs Heather and throws her down the cliff)

Heather: AAAAAAAAAH! (lands in the safe zone) Leshawna, you are so dead!

Leshawna: Hey! I threw you into the safe zone, didn't I? (to herself) Now I just hope I can hit it, too. (jumps) AAAAAAAAAH! (lands in the safe zone, right next to Heather)

(Lindsay is standing over the cliff dive)

Lindsay: I thought this was going to be a talent contest!

Chris: Ha ha ha ha, yeah, ha ha... (turns serious) No.

(Lindsay is pushed down)

Lindsay: AHHHHHHHHH!

(Gwen follows looking terrified)

Gwen: YAHHHHHHHHH!

(Cody is next, flailing like a beached flounder)

Cody: WAHHHHHHHHH!

(Izzy follows, laughing crazily like a witch, and falling like a sky-diver, obviously enjoying herself)

Izzy: WAAA HA HA HA HA HA, YEAH! HA HA!

(Justin jumps and lands in the safe zone)

(Phineas and Ferb jump together)

(Candace jumps next)

Candace: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! (Lands in the safe zone)

(Trent is next)

Trent: YEAH!!!!! (Lands in the safe zone) Whoo!

Beth: I… I can't do it! I'm too scared! (Chris holds up a chicken hat) I'm sorry!! (All the jumpers cluck like chickens)

Chris: (Beth puts on the chicken hat and goes back to the rest of the gophers. Owen is the last person to jump) All right, campers. There's only one jumper left. You need this jump for the win. No pressure, dude. (Owen has a smile on his face) Okay, there's pressure. (turns it into a frown)

(The Screaming Gophers are cheering for him to jump)

Heather: Ju--, jum--, just do it, Owen! Do it!

Owen: (puts floaties on his arms) Oh, I was pretty darn nervous. (in the confession stall) See, the thing is, I'm not that strong a swimmer.

Geoff: (in the confession stall about Owen) I'm looking at this guy and thinking, "There's no way he's gonna make it."

Gwen: (in the confessional stall about Owen) I actually thought, "If he jumps this...he's gonna die."

Chris: Give it your best jump, buddy. You can do it.

Owen: I'm going to die now. I'm going to freaking die now! (Everyone looks at Owen and wait for Owen to jump)

Leshawna: Come on, big guy.

Owen: (closes his eyes tightly, then opens, takes a running start) YAAAAAAAHHHH!!! (jumps off the cliff) Oh, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (he lands, making an enormous splash, he scatters the people everywhere)

Owen: Yeah! Yeah! Who's the man?

Beth: Whoo-hoo! (Lindsay sits up, smiling)

Leshawna: Yes!

Chris: The winners; The Screaming Gophers!

Lindsay: We won, we all get to stay here for another three days!

Beth, Lindsay & Heather: (Cheering)

Owen: (appears naked) Whoooooooooooooooooo! Ha ha ha! Yes! (starts singing) We get to stay-ay, we get to stay-ay, we are so awesome, we won the contest!

Chris: Killer Bass, let's get to the bonfire.

(The bonfire ceremony)

Chris: Welcome to the first bonfire. You all know what's going on, so I'll pass the marshmallows out right now. The first marshmallow goes to… Jen. Chowder. Mung. Harold. Geoff. Peter. Bridgette. Jude. Duncan. Truffles. DJ. Courtney and Jonsey, this is the final marshmallow. The person who doesn't get this last marshmallow must walk off the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers and leave Total Cartoon Island Return for good! (Dramatic pause) The final marshmallow goes to………… Courtney. Jonsey, I'm sorry to say this, but you have been eliminated from Total Cartoon Island Return.

Jonsey: But don't I get my money from season 2?

Chris: You get it when the Total Cartoon series ends.

Jonsey: Aw, crap. (Walks down the dock of shame, catches the boat of losers and leaves the summer camp)

(End)


	3. The Sleep of a Lifetime

TCIR EP3: The Sleep of a Lifetime

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, 26 campers came back to where it all started and got split into teams. They had to do their first challenge. Some jumped while some took the walk down the chickened out escalator and had to wear the dreaded chicken hat. It all went down to two people in the first bonfire ceremony. Courtney experienced as a C.I.T., but refused to jump. And Jonsey became a pain in the butt to his teammates. In the end, the first person voted off Total Cartoon Island Return was Jonsey, showing once again that a troublemaker doesn't mix with a summer camp. Who will be the next person to be voted off in the most dramatic bonfire ceremony yet? Find out tonight… on Total Cartoon Island Return!!

(Theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(Back to TCIR)

(All the campers are sleeping in their team cabins. Unknown to them, Chris is behind the Bass cabin)

Chris: Shh.. They're sleeping. (Turns on the megaphone) THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL!!!! (Screaming is heard in both cabins)

LeShawna: (after Chris wakes everyone up, banging her head on the top bunk) It's seven in the morning!! Do I look like a farmer to you?

(A few minutes later…)

(All campers are awake and also cranky)

Chris: Morning, campers! Guess ya slept well.

Heather: Hey, Chris. You look real buff in those shorts.

Chris: I know. Okay, campers! Your challenge starts in 2 minutes!

Owen: Um, Chris. I don't think that's enough time for breakfast.

Chris: Oh, don't worry, you'll have breakfast later on right after the 20 kilometer run around the camp! You got 30 seconds!

(Confessionals)

Peter: Okay, is it me or is this deja vu all over again?

(At the start of the race…)

Chris: Okay! Get ready… get set… go!! (Most guys are running while Harold is running in a slow speed)

(During the race…)

(Some of the gophers are moving slow)

Owen: (out of breath) Can't... catch... breath... must... have... condition!

Heather: Yeah, it's called "over-eating". Look into it.

LeShawna: Well, what's your excuse, you skinny, bossy... whew! (leans against a tree) Too tired for insults.

(Heather steps over Owen and hurts him a bit)

Chris: (Riding the car from some episodes of Total Drama Island) Get movin', campers! If you don't make it to the mess hall faster, you don't eat!

(Then at the mess hall, all the campers are present and tired)

Chris: Okay, glad you all made it. Now… who's hungry?! (Shows a buffet)

Owen: (In the confessional) And then I saw it! The buffet table! It was so beautiful!

(Later, the campers are finished eating. They've all gained a bit of weight)

Chris: Okay, it's time for the awake-a-thon! Don't worry! This is an easy one!

Gwen: So you mean that the 20k run and the turkey-eating frenzy were just part of your sinister plot to make it harder for us to stay awake?

Chris: That's right, Gwen!

Gwen: Man, he's good.

(The awake-a-thon)

Chris: _We are now 12 hours in with all 25 remaining campers still wide awake._

Owen: Whoo! Stay awake for 12 hours? I could do that in my sleep! Whoo-hoo!!! (Faints)

Gwen: (in the Confessional) The Awake-A-Thon was definitely the most brutal thing I had ever done in my life. (camera cuts back to Awake-a-thon)

Gwen: (yawns) This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life.

Trent: (yawns) Yeah. It could be way worse.

Gwen: Oh yeah? How?

Trent: I could be stuck here without you to talk to. (Gwen blushes and smiles, then sees Lindsay trying to do a handstand)

Gwen: What are you doing?!

Lindsay: Trying to get the blood to rush up to my head. I think it's working! (Beth runs up to Lindsay)

Beth: Can I try?!

Lindsay: Sure, Belle! (Beth does a handstand like Lindsay)

(Later at night)

(Beth and Lindsay are still doing handstands while Candace, Phineas and Ferb are asleep. Justin is and was looking at himself for 9 hours. Gwen and Trent are flirting with each other)

Gwen: Favorite song?

Trent: "She Would Be Loved". Favorite color?

Gwen: Midnight Blue.

Trent: Ooh, mysterious. I like that.

(Gwen blushes and yawns)

Trent: No, don't fall asleep now! Quick...favorite movie moment...

Gwen: You're gonna think it's cheesy, Trent.

Trent: I promise I won't think that.

Gwen: (Sighs) Okay, the kiss of the end of that road trip movie, you know, the one with the guy and the three girls. I think it was called _Crossroads_.

Trent: I know the one! You like that movie?

Gwen: Yeah. (Owen walks by. He is still asleep but without his clothes on and Gwen & Trent stare with wide eyes)

Trent: What the hell? (Sees his clothes laid out on a rock) What the hell is wrong with Owen?

Peter: I bet he's sleep walking like I do when I eat pie after midnight.

Owen: (in the Confessional Stall) Did I mention that I ate the entire batch of baked beans and maple syrup? Funny thing about baked beans... they make me sleepwalk and fart a lot. (Cuts back to the Awake-A-Thon, this time, Chowder is sleeping)

Chowder: (Snoring) Bagel. (Snoring)

(The scene cuts back to Trent & Gwen as Chowder is talking in his sleep)

Trent: Cool… he even talks in his sleep.

(Chowder's snoring makes Harold, Mung and Truffles fall asleep)

(The next morning…)

(Only Gwen, Duncan, Lindsay, Beth and Peter remain as the only people awake in this challenge)

Gwen: (yawns) I'd kill for a coffee right now.

Chris: (drinking a coffee) What is wrong with you people? C'mon, fall asleep already!

Gwen: (on her knees, desperately tugging at Chris' shirt) You've gotta hook me up, man. I'll even eat the grinds!

Chris: Okay, fine. The people who are asleep, take a shower. Jeez! You stink! (Everyone but the remaining awake people leave)

Chris: I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Chef Hatchet last night. I said, "Chef, I don't want it to come to this." But darn it, these campers are tough! And so, I've come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find.

Gwen: (in the confessional) Oh, come on! What now? Okay, you know what? Bring it on!

Chris: The History of Canada. A pop-up book. Chapter one, the beaver. National symbol and a "dam" fine hat.

(All the campers groan)

Gwen: Stink.

(Later…)

Chris: Which of course was the precursor of 1812. (everyone but Duncan and Gwen fall asleep)

Chris: Before we continue on with the story, who needs a bathroom break?

Duncan: I've held it this long, sweetheart! I can go all day.

Gwen: Yeah, but can you hold it for another ten chapters?

Chris: And let's not forget to give you some company.

Duncan: Fine. But no looking in the stall!

(In the bathroom)

Cameraman: Duncan? You in there, man? (Opens up a stall revealing a asleep Duncan on the can)

Chris: (Someone gives him a envelope) It seems that Duncan took a snooze on the can. Which means that Gwen and the Screaming Gophers win today's challenge!

(The bonfire marshmallow ceremony)

Chris: You've all cast your votes. I have 11 marshmallows here on my plate. If I call your name, you get a marshmallow. The person that does not receive a marshmallow must immediately head for the Dock of Shame, grab the boat of losers, and get the heck out of here! And you can't come back....ever. Now, I see you're all tired, so tonight, I'll just throw them to you, savvy? (throws marshmallows as he says the camper's name) Courtney. Duncan. Bridgette. DJ. Harold (Harold gets hit in the head with a marshmallow and it lands in his hands). Geoff (Geoff smiles and it lands in his hat). Chowder. Mung. Jude. Jen. Peter and Truffles, this is the final marshmallow. (Dramatic pause) The final marshmallow goes to……… Peter. (Throws it to him. It lands in his mouth)

Peter: Wow! Thanks, Chris. And thank Chef for doing what the turkey did!

Chris: (Sees that he has no marshmallows on his plate) Sorry, Truffles. Guess you're out.

Truffles: Well, if it's one thing I hate, it's losing. I guess I'll be going now. (Floats down the dock of shame, boards the boat of losers and leaves the crappy summer camp)

(End)


	4. Smashball

TCIR EP4: Smashball

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the Screaming Gophers and Killer Bass had to survive the awake-a-thon. Gwen and Trent had some sort of a date during this time. Owen went for a long sleepwalk and then it rained. In the end, the Screaming Gophers win after Duncan took a snooze on the can. The 2nd person leaving Total Cartoon Island Return was Truffles. There was a unknown reason she was voted off. Find out who will take a cruise off TCIR tonight on Total Cartoon Island Return!

(Theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(Back to TCIR)

(Everyone on the Killer Bass team are sleepy in the mess hall while the Screaming Gophers team had a good night of sleep)

Chris: (To Duncan, who looks tired) Duncan! You look like crap, dude!

Duncan: Stick it.

Courtney: Harold snored all night.

Chris: Wow! Four nights with no sleep. How much are you _hurting_, dude?!

Duncan: (Starting to come at Chris) Wanna find out?!

Chris: (Backing off) No, no, it's cool. It's cool!

(After this happened, some of the gophers decided to make the first alliance of the season)

Owen: Hey, guys, let's form the first Total Cartoon Island Return alliance!

Trent: For _this_ season?

Owen: Yeah! We could vote off one of the girls if we lose a challenge!

Cody: And lose some members?

Owen: Mm-hmm!

Cody: Wow! You are so stupid!

Owen: (Long pause) What?!

Cody: I said your idea is stupid! (Long pause from Owen. Cody runs out of the mess hall)

Trent: Should we count Cody out?

Owen: Yep. So, who wants in? (Points at Phineas) You? (Points at Ferb) You? Okay. All of you guys except the mean and stupid people are in! (All the guys cheer. Cody comes back in)

Cody: What did I miss?

(Then, all 24 campers are in the dodgeball place from Dodgebrawl, which was an episode of Total Drama Island. Duncan comes in late and lays on the bleachers)

Courtney: (to Harold) This is all your fault, you know! You and your snoring face!

Harold: It's called a medical condition, _GOSH!_

Chris: This week's challenge is the classic game of dodgeball. The first rule of dodgeball is… if you get hit with a ball, you're out. But if you catch the ball, the thrower is out and the catcher can send a teammate back into the game. If you get a ball, you can use it to deflect a ball, but if a ball knocks your ball off your hands, you're out.

Lindsay: Um, what am I supposed to do when the ball comes at me?

Chris: You dodge! (Throws the ball, which hits Lindsay) Oh! You were supposed to dodge! So, Gophers, Bass, let's send this sample to the lab and see what you're made of!

(Round 1 players)

Screaming Gophers: Owen, Cody, Heather, Gwen, Justin.

Killer Bass: Geoff, DJ, Mung, Bridgette, Courtney.

Chris: Okay! First to reach 3 points wins! Ready and… go! (Mung throws a ball, which is deflected by Owen. The ball hits Geoff. Bass: 4. DJ throws the next ball, which hits Gwen. Gophers: 4. Cody throws his ball. It hits Courtney in the butt)

Chris: Oh! Sexy move! (Bass: 3. Justin throws his ball, which is caught by Bridgette, who throws it and hits Owen. Gophers: 3, 2. Heather throws the next ball at Mung and throws 2 other balls at DJ and Bridgette) Bam! And the Screaming Gophers score in this round!

(Rounds 2, 3 and 4 are a montage and the Killer Bass lose the 2nd round and win the 3rd and 4th rounds)

(Round 2, 3 and 4 players)

Killer Bass: DJ, Geoff, Chowder, Bridgette, Harold.

Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Izzy, Owen, Trent, Justin.

(Skip to: Round 5)

(Players)

Killer Bass: Duncan, Mung, DJ, Geoff, Harold.

Screaming Gophers: Cody, Owen, Justin, Heather, Izzy.

(The Bass throw all their balls at all Screaming Gophers on the court but Owen. Owen throws all Killer Bass on the court out but Harold. Owen throws the last ball at Harold, who catches the ball. All the Killer Bass teammates cheer in glory)

Chris: The Killer Bass finally win a challenge!!!! (All the bass people leave the dodgeball court) Gophers, what happened?

Owen: I don't know! Why should we care? We lost!

Harold: (In the confession cam) I guess I'm kind of a role model now that I won the dodgeball competition. People will probably all want my autograph when this season is over and stuff.

(The bonfire ceremony)

Votes:

Owen: Heather.

Gwen: Heather.

Heather: Owen.

Justin: Heather.

Leshawna: Heather.

Beth: Heather.

Lindsay: Heather.

Izzy: Justin.

Cody: Owen. (Cause he's a jackass)

Trent: Heather.

Candace: Owen and Phineas.

Phineas: Owen.

Ferb: Heather and Justin.

Votes for Heather: 8

Votes for Phineas: 1

Votes for Justin: 2

Votes for Owen: 4

Votes for others: None.

Chris: Now for the dramatic bonfire ceremony. If I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The person who does not get a marshmallow must walk off the dock of shame, board the boat of losers and leave. And you can never come back… ever. Owen. Phineas. Ferb. Beth. Lindsay. Trent. Justin. Cody. Candace. Gwen. Izzy. (Sees that the marshmallows are all gone) Heather, the dock of shame awaits.

Heather: Fine, but you'll be hearing from my lawyers!

Chris: Yeah, yeah. I know. It's gonna be a long ride. (Heather leaves) All right, so it wasn't the most dramatic campfire ceremony ever... but I still get paid. Heh heh, bonus!

(End)


	5. Somewhat Quite Famous

TCIR EP5: Somewhat Quite Infamous

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the teams had to survive a dodgeball competition. Owen decided to make a first in the season alliance so they could vote off their worst enemies. The Killer Bass were losing until Duncan decided to teach them a new style of dodgeball. The Killer Bass finally win a challenge. Owen's alliance voted off Heather for being a jackass to their team. The Gophers are becoming the underdogs! Who will take a cruise to Loserville, population: 3? Put away the snacks, kiddies, cause it's time for more… Total Cartoon Island Return!!!

(Theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(Back to TCIR)

(Everyone is in the amphitheater first thing in the morning)

Owen: (Chuckles) We're so glad Heather was voted off last night. Now our alliance will enlarge more.

Trent: So, who's the next person we should vote off?

Owen: Uh… I think Cody. (Points at Cody)

(Chris MacLean walks onto the amphitheater)

Chris: Good morning, campers! This week's challenge is a summer favorite: A talent contest! All you have to do is do a talent and try to rank the highest on the Chef-o-Meter! (The Chef-o-Meter appears and glows) You can use any kind of talent: Sing, dance, juggle. Anything goes, (looks at Duncan) as long as it's legal. (Duncan snaps his fingers, frowning) Now, let's get to business!

(The Killer Bass)

(The first talent is Peter, who does a dance parodying MC Hammer's moves)

Peter: Oh, yeah! Hit it! Yeah! (Spins and snaps his fingers) Boom! (Trips and lands on a garbage can)

(The rest of the Killer Bass Team have no comments)

Geoff: Next!! (Cut to Harold, who does his beatboxing skills) Good job, man!

Harold: Sweet!

Geoff: Okay, next! (Next is DJ, who does his ribbon dancing) Next!

DJ: Aw, man! (Next is Mung, who does a bit of Qua-Qua-Do)

Geoff: Next!

Mung: Aw! (Next is Jude, who does some D. skills)

Geoff: Um, are there any lyrics?

Jude: Du-u-u-ude!

Geoff: Next! (Next is Duncan, who was about to do his special talent until…) Next!

Duncan: (Sighs)

(The Screaming Gophers)

(They've picked Trent playing on his guitar, Justin and Owen)

(The Killer Bass have picked Harold, Courtney and Geoff)

(The Talent Extravaganza)

Chris: It's the Total Cartoon Island Return Talent Extravaganza!! We've got talent for you tonight on Total Cartoon Island Return! The first one is Trent with his song! (Trent comes out on-stage)

Trent: Hey! (Sits down on the stool) This song is dedicated to my friends. (Starts playing the guitar)

(Singing)

**My friends will always be around**

**If they sold coolness by the pound**

**They'd all be stinkin' rich**

**Stayin' at the Ritz**

**Guaranteed to getcha' hoppin'**

**Need some clothes, they'll take you shoppin'**

**Or hang out just like this**

**Oh yeah.**

**Who knows what the future's gonna bring**

**I don't know much but**

**I'll tell you one thing**

**I can depend on my friends for everything**

**don't matter where or when**

**Through anything**

**Right 'til the end**

**I can depend on my friends!**

(Cheers are heard from The Screaming Gophers)

(The Chef-o-Meter rates the talent 8/9)

Chris: Awesome, dude! (Trent waves to the audience) Okay, quit hogging my light, bra. (Pushes Trent and the stool off the stage) Our next talent is done by Geoff! (Geoff skates on-stage and does a quintuple kickflip off the stage)

Geoff: Yeah! Who's the man!

Chris: Wow! Let's see what the Chef-o-Meter rates for that talent! (The Chef-o-Meter rates the talent 6/9) Wow! Good strategy, Geoff!

Geoff: Thanks, man! You are great yourself! (Geoff leaves)

Chris: Wow! Okay, the next talent is done by the most beautiful person on the island! Give it up for Justin! (Justin walks onto the stage and does a long flash dance for 2 minutes) Wow! Chef thinks it's awesome! See? (The Chef-o-Meter rates Justin's talent 7/9) Our next person is Harold! (Harold does some beatboxing for 1 minute) Wow! (The Chef-o-Meter rates Harold's talent 7/9) That's just like Justin's score! Our last Gopher is Owen! (Owen burps out the alphabet in one gulp and barfs on some of the Killer Bass Team) (The Chef-o-Meter rates Owen's talent 4/7) Wow, that's… not much. Okay, our last tal—(An intern whispers in Chris' ear) Fine! It seems that Courtney can't do her talent because she got puked on. So, our replacement is Peter Griffin! (Peter Griffin comes on-stage wearing a hip-hop suit. Mung and Chowder are dressed the same)

Peter: (Singing)

**Yo, my name is Peter-o!**

**(Peter-o!)**

**And I like hip-hop!**

**(Hip-hop!)**

**I just like hip-hop dancing**

'**cause I don't wanna ever stop!**

**(Stop!)**

**I got a hangnail!**

**(He's got a hangnail!)**

**I got a hangnail!**

**(He's got a hangnail!)**

**(Does a short dance and spins)**

**Bam!**

(Everyone, even Chris cheers. The Chef-o-Meter rates Peter Griffin's talent 100/9)

Chris: And the Killer Bass win again!!

(Bonfire Ceremony)

Chris: Kudos to you all for an incredible night of entertainment. Music, drama, barfing! There's only one marshmallow left on this plate. Justin, you reminded us that looks matter a lot. And Cody, you're full of cheer. The final marshmallow goes to… Justin. Cody, the dock of shame awaits, dude. (Cody leaves on the boat of losers)

(End)


	6. JurASSic Woods

TCIR EP6: Jur-Assic Woods

_**Now there will be cutaways like in Family Guy and the confessionals are written differently. Now onto the show!**_

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the 23 remaining campers had to audition for the Total Cartoon Island Return Talent Extravaganza to win the challenge for their fellow teammates. Since Courtney refused to do her talent, Peter won the talent extravaganza for the Killer Bass team with his cool hip-hop song. Who will lose the chance to win? Will Peter win for his friends again? Will my soy latte ever get here? All these answers… answered in this special episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(All the campers and Chris MacLean are at the bonfire in the morning)

Chris: Today's challenge is to spend a entire day in the woods. Once there, you need to find food by using these maps and compasses. Oh! And there might be some bears there! Good luck! (Runs off)

Leshawna: (Scared) Wait, d-did he say there were bears in the woods?

Owen: Eh… how should I know?

Peter: I killed a bear once when I got lost in the woods.

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Peter and a bear face to face in the woods. Peter hits the bear in the face with a kick to the face, punches the bear's nose and snaps the bear's neck._

"_That will show you that humans rule if they know Hikuta." Peter said._

_(End Cutaway)_

(Then, at the woods, the Gophers are finding the perfect place to set camp)

Owen: I still don't get how Peter killed a bear. Like… how did he do it? There must be some explanation to Peter Griffin's bear-hunting skills? (He sees something in a bush) Hey, guys! Look! A ticket to the 2010 Michael Jackson concert!

Trent: Um, Owen, Michael J's dead.

Owen: What?!

Justin: It's even on the newspapers, too.

Owen: Aw man! I got tricked. (Peter emerges from the bush)

Peter: Sucka!

_(Cue Owen's confessional)_

_Owen: How could Peter just trick me by putting a Michael Jackson 2010 concert ticket that is before his cardiac arrest and his last breath? He is __**so**__ gonna __**PAY!!!**__ (Punches a hole in the confession cam)_

_(End Owen's confessional)_

_(Cue Peter's confessional)_

_Peter: (Laughing) Did you see that? He thought he was happy he got that ticket from a bush! (Laughs some more) Oh my god, that was __**so **__fucking funny! I was __**so **__fucking funny, man! (Bursts into laughter)_

_(End Peter's confessional)_

(The gophers, especially Phineas and Owen, were pissed)

Owen: Ya know what, drunk-ass bastard! You are the most craziest person ever!

Izzy: Yeah! And I thought _I_ was crazy!

Phineas: Yeah! Go back to hell, you fucking bastard!

Trent: Whoa, dude! Watch your language!

Justin: Yeah! You're only 10!

Ferb: And kids should not swear like that.

Phineas: Oh, really?! This is a damn crazy situation here!

Owen: Yeah! I've been tricked! (Points at Phineas) And you! You are out of the alliance!

Phineas: (Gasps)

Ferb: Oh, this is not good.

_(Cue Phineas's confessional)_

_Phineas: I couldn't believe that Peter actually tricked a guy who can burp out the alphabet in one gulp by hiding a Michael Jackson concert ticket in a bush just to get away with it and move on. What-What's next? Huh? He'll pay one of the girls here to have sex with him? Oh dear god, I can't even think about it! (Pukes)_

_(End Phineas's confessional)_

(Phineas had become more pissed than ever. Even pissed enough to be voted off tonight if they lose the challenge)

Owen: Everyone… cover your ears. (Just then, everyone except the raging Phineas and the trembling Peter covered their ears and heard Phineas swear about 50 times. Even more times than Lindsay when she was on Total Drama Island! Then everybody uncovered their ears after Phineas finished swearing. Just then, Peter threw Phineas in the air and past Camp Wawanakwa into Lake Ontario)

Peter: That's what you get, bitch!

(However, Chris was watching from a bush next to the two teams)

Chris: Whoa! Glad you guys got here. Guess I lose the bet. Screaming Gophers, you lose the challenge by your swearing friend you just threw into the lake.

(The bonfire ceremony)

Chris: Gophers, I have 10 marshmallows on my plate. If I call your name, come up and claim a marshmallow. The person who does not receive a marshmallow must go down the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers and get the hell out of here and spend the rest of the show crying to sleep because of your past! And… you can never come back… ever.

_(Cue Owen)_

_Owen: I felt so bad for Peter. I had to vote Phineas off._

_(Cue Trent)_

_Trent: Definitely Phineas._

_(Cue Izzy)_

_Izzy: Oh, Phineas should not be here anymore!_

_(Cue Phineas)_

_Phineas: It feels like I am gonna get voted off. I had to vote off Owen._

_(End of confessionals)_

Chris: The marshmallows go to… Trent, Beth, Lindsay, Candace, Gwen, Izzy, Ferb, Justin, Leshawna. Owen and Phineas, this is the final marshmallow. One of you have spent your last time on Total Cartoon Island Return. (Phil the intern comes up to Chris)

Phil: Um, Chris, We've tallied the votes.

Chris: And what?

Phil: The loser is Owen cause Phineas has a one-week contract that states he cannot be voted off early until he gets to the final 3.

Chris: Okay. Carry on. Gophers, the loser is not going to be Phineas.

(Everyone else but Phineas and Owen gasp)

Phineas: Owen, you've just been eliminated.

Owen: But I don't understand! We all voted for Phineas!

Chris: I'm sorry but Phineas has a one-week contract that states he cannot be voted off until the final 3 part commences.

Justin, Beth, & Lindsay: Speech, speech, speech, speech!

Chris: Then...a little light for my friend here. (a spotlight shines on the newly dressed Owen in a tuxedo)

Owen: (laughs) Oh, wow. I'd like to thank the academy --

Chris: The Academy of Total Cartoon Island, trademarked, patented, and all mine.

Owen: (beginning his Total Cartoon Farewell Speech) This has been the role of a lifetime. Thanks to Justin, (shows Justin as a hot dog in Owen's eyes) who inspired me everyday with his physical perfection and "hot dogginess". To Lindsay, (shows Lindsay as a bottle of soda) who is also beautiful, in a "soda-poppy" kind of way. To Beth, (shows Beth as a chicken leg) who motivated me with her delicious crispy skin, (Beth frowns) and her tender, juicy goodness. To Chris, (shows Chris as a slice of pizza) who also smells -- (The Gilded Chris theme begins to play, as to cut Owen's speech short) What? No, no, you can't play me off yet! To my mom, who let me quit piano lessons! To my brothers, I'm sorry for scamming you out of your Halloween Candy.

Lindsay: (in background) We love you, Owen!! (Lindsay, Justin, and Beth throw their Chocolate Chris's at Owen)

Justin: This Chris is for you.

Owen: (begins to mumble because of the Chris that landed in his mouth, and awakens from the flashback in regular clothes, on the ground) I love this game!

Chris: And that wraps up another totally dramatic episode, without absolutely no loose-ends to tie up. Isn't that right, Chef?

Chef: Nope.

Chris: Nah, didn't think so. (they walk off. Owen then leaves on the boat of losers)

(End)


	7. The Adventure On Camp

TCIR EP7: The Adventure On Camp

**Today, our campers have to go through a large challenge **_**so**_** large it can fit in 5 or more pages! Our campers will have to climb a large rock mountain, find some loot and all 5 golden wrenches and find a getaway cart to reach the finish line goal point in less than 20 minutes! The team that loses the challenge must definitely vote off 2 campers off Total Cartoon Island Return for good! Find out who will go home in this episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!**

(Recap)

Chris: In the last episode of Total Cartoon Island Return, all 22 remaining campers had to hike out in the woods and build tents, but Peter ticked off the Gophers by pranking Owen with a fake 2010 Michael Jackson ticket! Nicely played, Peter, nicely played. In the end, Phineas was going to be voted off, but due to his rest-of-the-season invincibility contract, Owen was voted off, thus breaking the alliance, I think. Who will make Phineas's contract null and void? What will become of Owen's former alliance? And who will be the person leaving Total Cartoon Island Return? Find out in this extreme episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(The campers come into the mess hall, where Chris is at)

Chris: Good morning, campers! I was hopin' you were coming.

Peter: Yeah! We know! And I had bigger problems!

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Peter Griffin hanging on the living room fan in his home by his shoelace._

"_Uh… help?" Peter asks._

_(End Cutaway)_

Chowder: (Confused) What just happened?

Peter: A cutaway. (Pause) What?

Chris: Can we just get on with this?!

All: Okay.

Chris: Great! The challenge today is going to be the greatest adventure of the show! (He opens up a map of the camp, showing where the challenge's landmarks are) You have to climb a large mountain, find some loot within the caverns of mystery, search for the five golden wrenches and get a cart in order to reach the goal point in less than twenty minutes! The team who reaches the goal point first will win team invincibility! The losers of the challenge will send two people home. (Everyone gasps) Yeah! You heard me! I said two! Anyways, we should get going, Chop, chop!

(At the mountain)

Chris: Here's the mountain! On the mountain, there are obstacles like… rusty nails, slippery oil slick, TNT and a surprise. Only two of each team will participate in this part. Phineas and Candace for the gophers and Chowder and Peter for the bass. Here's the harnesses and rope. The first group up the mountain wins a basket fulla foods and drinks. Okay, let's rock this up! Get it? Rock? Mountain? The challenge is to _climb_ it?

Mung: Yeah, we don't care.

(On the mountain. Peter and Candace are climbing for their teams and carrying their teammate)

Peter: (Panting) Gotta make it! (Some TNT blows up in Peter's face. Luckily, Peter survived the blast) Whoa! (Grabs part of the mountain and continues to climb up the mountain)

Chris: I promised surprises! (Holds up a seagull) Seagulls, anyone? (Throws one up into the air. It lands on Candace's hair)

Candace: Ah! Sky rat! Get it off! Get it off! (Falls off the mountain) AAAAHHH!!!! (Phineas pulls on the rope, stopping Candace from falling) AAAHH!!!! AAAHHH!!!! AAH—Huh?

Phineas: It's okay! I got you! (But it was too late. Peter and Chowder made it to the top of the rocky mountain. Phineas and Candace's rope breaks. Phineas and Candace fall off the mountain but land on a mattress Ferb deploys) Phew!

Chris: And the Bass make it to the top!

(Cut to the Caverns of Mystery)

Chris: Welcome to the cave of mystery! There, you must find treasure and five golden wrenches. First team to make it out alive and with all 5 wrenches first win the challenge. _No_ reward in this part! Now… Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (All campers go into the cave)

(Gophers)

(The team is searching for the items to find on the map)

Trent: Come on, guys! It's got to be here! (He steps on something) Hey! I-I think I found something! (He finds two golden wrenches) Hey! I found two of the wrenches!

Justin: Wow! Nice one, dude!

Lindsay: Yeah! Way to go, Tom!

(Bass)

(Chowder is eating dirt and finding the wrenches and riches beyond them)

Chowder: Yummy! (Continues eating the dirt until he finds a treasure chest and two golden wrenches) Hey! I found the treasure and two of the five wrenches! We need three more of them!

Mung: (To the team) Okay, we're all in this together, even if we eat the dirt!

Chowder: Shoelace-Fan Top (Peter), Hercules (DJ), Party Dude (Geoff), Mean-O (Courtney), my cooking master is right! Let's eat through the dirt and find the last three golden wrenches!

The whole team: Yeah!

(Then it cuts to every bass mate eating dirt. They find one of the five golden wrenches)

Chowder: Found one! (They continue, but the gophers find them)

Killer Bass: AAAAHHH!!!!

Screaming Gophers: AAAAHHH!!!!

Killer Bass: AAAAHHH!!!!

Screaming Gophers: AAAAHHH!!!!

Killer Bass: AAAAHHH!!!!

Screaming Gophers: AAAAHHH!!!!

(A cow moo is heard)

Killer Bass: AAAAHHH!!!!

Screaming Gophers: AAAAHHH!!!!

Killer Bass: AAAAHHH!!!!

Screaming Gophers: AAAAHHH!!!!

Both Teams: AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

(They start fighting for the wrenches. The gophers get the last two golden wrenches and start to escape the cave)

Phineas: We're gonna make it! (Suddenly, a bear comes out of nowhere in front of the gophers) Who-oa! Didn't see that coming! (Ferb throws a bowling ball at the bear and knocks it out. The Screaming Gophers make it out of the cave and hop into a cart. The Killer Bass get out of the cave and get a cart as well. The teams scream as they are about to crash into a truck, an unfinished road, police cars, and space, though they all turned out to be rolling paper backgrounds; they then crash into an old man, that happened to be made of a dense product. The Bass then crash into a grey blur)

Peter: What the hell just hit us? (They look far into the street and look down to see that an old friend, Bender is laying on the floor)

Bender: Ow! My ass! (The gophers go past the bass)

Peter: (Putting Bender into the cart) Come on, let's win this!

Bender: Okay! (The bass start driving. Each cart pass each other as they reach the finish line. It cuts to Chris and Chef on a desk for announcers for sports shows)

Chris: The teams are neck and neck as they all reach the finish line! And… Bender is on the Bass team?! (To Chef) Why was he here?!

Chef: Uh…

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Bender riding a hoverbike on Camp Wawanakwa when he gets run over by the Bass Cart_

"_Ow! My ass!" Bender says when he gets run over by the bass cart._

_(End Cutaway)_

Chris: That just happened!

Chef: Oh. Sorry, then.

(Cut back to the teams. The Bass pass the Gophers)

Courtney: (inches away from the Finish Line) I knew I could win this! Even with a team of complete duds! (The Bass Cart falls apart right under them)

Peter: Oh, god dammit! (The gophers cross the Finish Line first)

Courtney: I will not be second place!!!

Chris: (waves the checkered flag) Wanna bet!? The Screaming Gophers win the challenge and team invincibility! Killer Bass, time to say good-bye to two of your campers and hello to Bender!

(The campfire ceremony)

Chris: There are 11 tasty marshmallows on my plate. You've all cast your votes. The person that does not receive a marshmallow must immediately head for the Dock of Shame, grab the boat of losers, and get the heck out of here! And you can't come back....ever. Now, I see you're all tired, so tonight, I'll just throw them to you, savvy? (throws marshmallows as he says the camper's name) Courtney. Duncan. Bridgette. DJ. Harold (Harold gets hit in the head with a marshmallow). Geoff (Geoff smiles and it lands in his hat). Bender. Chowder. Mung… Hmm. That's weird. Peter, Jen and Jude have the same amount of votes. Which means that the three are safe… for now. Wait! There are a lot more votes for DJ for being a chicken in challenges. DJ, goodbye! (DJ leaves on the boat of losers)

(End)


	8. I Survived A Summer Camp!

TCIR EP8: I Survived A Summer Camp

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the 21 campers had to go on a adventure with bears, golden wrenches and a sudden appearance by Bender! Mung got the Killer Bass eating dirt, that is, until the teams got together and fought for their remaining golden wrenches! Ha-ha! The Screaming Gophers won the challenge and a few prizes! DJ was losing us a couple of watchers because he was big, but was a gigantic chicken! Bawk! Bawk-bawk-ba-kawk! So the Killer Bass voted him off the island for good since the double elimination didn't happen! (Chuckles) Find out what's in—(His phone rings) (To the caller) Yello? Okay. (Hangs up) It was heard that Peter had ripped up Phineas's contract I mentioned two episodes ago! I knew that would happen But who will be the next one going on a cruise to Playa De Losers! Population: Six!? Will Bender last long in the competition now that he is a camper on Total Cartoon Island Return? Find out what is in store for all the campers on this week's episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(We cut to the Killer Bass around a campfire a few minutes after they eliminated DJ)

Mung: What should we do now after yesterday's "totally cool" challenge?

Duncan: How about figuring out who we will vote off if we lose again?

Chowder: That could be the idea!

Duncan: I think the next person should be Skater McGee (Jude) or the Neat Cheat Girl (Jen) here.

Peter: (To Duncan) One of them? H-How about _you_?

Duncan: How about no way?!

Peter: Don't you f**k with me, delinquent!

Duncan: Oh, you want a pop in the balls?!

Mung: Okay, let's focus! And shut up! You guys need to say you're both sorry.

Peter: But he—

Mung: Apologize!

Peter: Okay.

Duncan: Fine. Sorry 'bout that.

Peter: I'm so sorry. (The Screaming Gophers come down to the campfire sans Phineas and Candace)

Trent: Hey, guys!

Peter: What now? Do you want to insult us?

Trent: Uh, no. We wanted to join you guys for the campfire.

Bender: Just let them under no circumstances.

Peter: Uh, okay then. Come on in! Wait, where's Phineas and Candace?

Beth: We don't know.

Justin: I think they are at the dock.

Lindsay: Wow! You're _so_ smart, Justin… and _gorgeous_!

Beth: _So_ gorgeous!

(At the dock. Phineas and Candace are there)

(Phineas is looking up at the night sky)

Phineas: Candace, do you ever look up at the sky at night, wondering who will be your girlfriend?

Candace: I… I think so. Who do you think is your girlfriend?

Phineas: I think I'm looking at her.

Candace: Wiat, you mean me?

Phineas: Yeah. (They lean in and then kiss on the lips for 10 seconds, like on the iCarly episode iKiss where Freddie and Sam kiss just to get it over with. They stop) That was…

Candace: Amazing?

Phineas: Yeah. Great job.

Candace: Yeah, you, too. (While Candace walks away, a song plays)

**I keep… running away…**

**Just not to stop and walk off.**

**Yeah, yeah!**

**I keep… running away…**

Phineas: (To Candace) Hey. I love you.

Candace: Love you too. (Walks off)

(Then at morning, all 21 remaining campers are at a set that looks similar to a game show and Chris is wearing a blue tuxedo with a red tie, like the clothes he could wear on TDA's Gilded Chris ceremonies)

Chris: Good morning, campers! Welcome to the next challenge! I Survived A Summer Camp!

Peter: Wow, we are going to be on I Survived An American Game Show?!

Chris: It's similar to that, but the name of this challenge is I Survived A Summer Camp, dude!

Peter: (Understanding the title of the challenge) Oh. Right.

Chris: One Bass and Gopher will come up at a time and answer a question related to anything and everything. If one of them answers it wrong, the other person gets a chance to steal the question and answer it themselves. If _they_ don't answer it right like his or her opponent, I'll tell you the answer! The team with the most questions answered will win the challenge and a team invincibility pass with many items in store. Peter and Ferb, you guys are up! (Peter and Ferb come up to the set) The question is: Which animal is black and white and looks like a horse? (Peter presses a button, which does a buzzer's noise) Peter!

Peter: A zebra!

Chris: That's right! Next question: What season of this show had the most ratings? (Ferb presses a button, which does a buzzer's noise) Ferb!

Ferb: Total Cartoon Action.

Chris: Bing-bing-bing-bing-bing! Right! Okay, you guys had a chance, so the next two, Chowder and Phineas, will come up to the stand! (Said campers come up to the set) When did Garry's Mod release in the US and Canada? (Chowder hits the buzzer) Chowder!

Chowder: Uh… 2001?

Chris: Nope! Phineas! You got the answer?

Phineas: 2005.

Chris: And Bingo was his name-o! (Rings a bell)

(A montage starts)

Chris: Another name for the sasquatch?

Mung: Bigfoot!

Chris: Your patient has an itchy red inflammation on their butt! Diagnosis?

Heather: Diaper Rash. Apply salve repeatedly to achieve humectant dispersion.

Chris: Disease that makes you seem like you're very hot when you're indoors?

Harold: Heat flashes!

Chris: Grow fur?

Beth: Yeti-itis!

Bender: (Tests Chris's chest with a thermometer) Sissy-Pants McGee! (Chris puts on a confused face)

Chris: What the?

(End montage)

Chris: Okay, now it is time for the last trivia challenge! Duncan and Trent, you haven't done any trivia, so here is a _very_ challenging trivia question! Who was the weakest cast-mate on Total Cartoon Action? (A few minutes pass, and Trent hits the buzzer first) And Trent! (A few more minutes pass, then Trent finally gets the answer)

Trent: Cody!

Chris: That is… right! (The Screaming Gophers cheer) The Screaming Gophers win the challenge and their prize! Sorry, Killer Bass, you must need to take another person off this island for good!

(The campfire ceremony)

Chris: Everyone has voted for who needs to go. When I call your name, grab a marshmallow and go back with the rest of the team. The person who is marshmallow-less will have to leave Camp Wawanakwa! And you can never come back… ever! The marshmallows will go to… Bridgette, Harold, Mung, Jen, Jude, Duncan, Bender, Courtney, Peter! Geoff and Chowder, one of your butts is going home! And you can never come back… EVER!!! The final marshmallow goes to… Chowder. Sorry, dude, no marshmallows for you! It was unusual for you to go, but… go. (Geoff leaves) The rest of you are safe… for now! That ends another episode! Find out who is going in the next episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!!

(End)


	9. The Foul Mountains

TCIR EP9: The Foul Mountains

_**The Killer Bass and Screaming Gophers have to race to the top of the mountain and reach the finish line to win the challenge! Which team will win the challenge? Which team will lose another camper? Find out on this episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!**_

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return! The teams participated trivial challenge called I Survived A Summer Camp that tested most of their minds, but dumbed out a couple of people, who are Chowder and Geoff. Trent saves the Gophers from going to the chopping block, wins himself and his friends the challenge and made the Killer Bass lose Geoff, one of the people who got an answer wrong. What will make a camper cry a pool of tears? Who will go home? And which team will win the challenge? Could it be the Bass?

Peter: Hey! We heard that! It could happen, though!

Chris: (Sadistically) Riiiight. Find out in this episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!!!!!!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(The campers are back at the mess hall, eating even _more_ slop. Harold has some, but spits it out)

Harold: I wish DJ was still here! His cooking is as awesome as this is totally grossinating!

Chef: (In confessional) I cook slop for a living! No appreciation!

Harold: (in confessional) I might not have guts of steel or strong bones or maybe not the best strength, but we hope someone returns to the island!

(Back to the mess hall)

Chowder: (To Chef) I give the food five stars!

Chef: Ugh. I hate suck-ups.

Peter: Does anybody besides Owen and Chowder like this crap?

Mung: (Using a wooden spoon) Not really. (Tries to get the spoon out of the slop, but breaks it. He points at a splinter on his finger) Oh, look. Got a splinter.

Chowder: Looks more like a _tiny_ splinter!

Peter: (in the confessional) My, uh, plumbing's been clogged ever since I ate all those prune sandwiches before Total Cartoon Island Return. Pressure build-up's killing me! (constipating) C'mon colon! Don't fail me now! (releases a minor fart) Oh! I hear bowels!

(Chris cuts a rectangular hole through the mess hall and comes down by a rope)

Beth: What an entrance!

Chris: Consider it a hint to this week's challenge!

Duncan: Is it "Crappy, Rock-Climbing" challenge?

Chris: Close, but no. This week we're paying tribute to the action packed rock-climbing shows!

Jude: Do you mean we're going to climb up a mountain?

Chris: It's somewhat like that, but it's not what you think it might be! You have to _drive_ up to the top of the mountain and reach the finish line to succeed in winning the challenge! Come on! Let's go! We're burning daylight! (Walks out of the mess hall along with all the remaining campers)

(At the mountain)

Chris: Before you take any chance to get _up_ the mountain, the teams will need cars in order to drive… I guess. So just to be safe, you will need to _build_ your car in 20 minutes with wood, leaves, glue and things of that nature! When you go pass the finish line, it means your team wins and none of that team goes home. The losers will get a person to leave the island and the winning team gets 3 brand new campers or previous losers from earlier episode! It's easy!

Mung: Why should that happen?

Chris: It's to get planet ratings! So… good luck! (Runs off)

Mung: Oh, boy.

(We cut to a few seconds later. The teams have started making their cars)

(Peter picks up a piece of wood covered in sap with Chowder behind him)

Peter: Chowder, where should we put this? It's covered in sap!

Chowder: Well, there's a hole in the car so we should fit this piece of wood in the hole.

Peter: Okay. Here you go. (Chowder grabs the piece and puts it in the hole in the Bass car. Bender hammers some nails into the piece)

Bender: Okay, the hole's filled… or whatever.

Peter: (Holding another hammer) Hey, guys, has anyone seen the nail—(Slips on a banana peel) AH! (The hammer lands on the car and breaks a hole in it. Everyone else on the Killer Bass team gasps)

Duncan: What the hell?!

Peter: What happened? (Stands up and looks at the gaping hole in the car) Uh-oh. Oh, this is bad!

Mung: (In confessional) So there was Peter with a hammer, he slips on a banana peel and breaks the hammer like this! Boom! Now what should we do?!

(Back at the mountain)

Peter: It's okay. We have more wood. (Sees the nailgun) Oh, here's the nailgun! (Grabs the nailgun, fills the hole with leaves, puts a big piece of wood, about as big as the hole and nails it in with the nailgun. He then builds a container on the back of the car and fills it with cow manure)

Harold: Ew, did you bring that here?

Peter: Yeah. In case we need to win the challenge!

Harold: Oh! Good idea! (High-fives Peter)

(We cut to 20 minutes later. Chris McClean comes back to the mountain to see the finished cars)

Chris: Alright, it's time to check out the rides made by the teams! (Sees the Gopher car, which is high-tech and chrome) Wow! Nice futuristic car, dudes! You just might win this!

Trent: Thanks! Ferb did most of the work.

Chris: Y'welcome! (To the audience) And now let's check the Bass car! (Sees the Bass car, which is made of wood and tree leaves) Not bad, Bass. (Walks away from the Killer Bass)

Peter: W-wait, what?! That is all you would say?!

Chris: Yeah… it doesn't look as great as the Gophers' car. (Shows the Screaming Gophers car.

(Cut to later. Chris is now holding a checkered flag)

Chris: On your marks… get set… (Waves the checkered flag) Go! Go! Go! (Both cars start up the mountain. Peter is driving the Bass and Phineas is driving the Gophers)

Peter: (Laughs) How easy is this?

Chris: Are you ready to rock?!! (Presses a button on a black desk. The mountain shakes, thus leaving the cars with a very hard obstacle)

Peter: Who-o-oa! Time to let out the gear! (Presses a button, which lets the cow manure out of the container and splatters it all over the Screaming Gophers and their car)

Phineas: Ew! What the—?!

Beth: Oh boy! Cow manure! (Their car falls down the mountain and breaks into pieces)

Trent: Aw man! (The Killer Bass team crosses the finish line. Chris waves the checkered flag)

Chris: Wanna bet? Alright, Killer Bass! You finally won another challenge! After the Screaming Gophers survive losing another camper at the next campfire ceremony, _you_ guys will get your 3 new campers! (The whole Killer Bass team cheers in victory and also glory)

(The Screaming Gophers' campfire ceremony)

Chris: The time is come for the next Total Cartoon Island Return campfire ceremony! Who deserves to go home, crying tears of sadness? It all begins now! Okay, Screaming Gophers, you have voted. The person without a marshmallow will leave… forever! These marshmallows… go to…

Ferb…

Gwen…

Justin…

Izzy…

Leshawna…

Trent…

Candace…

Lindsay.

Chris: Phineas and Beth, this is the final marshmallow. Phineas, your contract got ripped up so some voted for you…

Phineas: What?!

Chris: And Beth, you said you like cow manure on the mountain. And… you will lose a chance at two billion dollars, which means you're out of the competition.

Beth: (Gasps)

Chris: Yes, yes, I know it's a shocker. Even I'm shocked and I knew the answer. But no hard feelings, dudette. You will be missed.

(Beth then walks down the old, crappy, danky Dock of Shame and hops on the smoky Boat of Losers, which leaves the Dock of Shame and Total Cartoon Island Return for good)

Chris: Everyone else, you're safe… for tonight!

(We cut to later, at the dock of shame, the Killer Bass team members and Chris, the host, are there)

Chris: Thanks for coming, Killer Bass! Our newcomers will be coming right now as soon as you vote for him or her! The top 3 people with votes will win!

Votes:

Peter: Shnitzel X2 and DJ X4.

Jen: Jonsey, Gazpacho X4 and Caitlin.

Chowder: Gorgonzola X3, Caitlin and Panini X3.

Mung: Jonsey, Panini, Ezekiel X2, Truffles X6 and Gorgonzola.

Duncan: Jonsey and DJ X2.

Courtney: Truffles and Jonsey.

Bridgette: Geoff X2, Ezekiel, Gazpacho and Panini.

Harold: Truffles, Geoff, DJ X3, Gazpacho X4, Endive X2 and Shnitzel.

Jude: Jonsey, Panini X2, Ezekiel, Endive and Gorgonzola.

Bender: Gorgonzola X2, Truffles X2, Jonsey X3, Shnitzel X5, Ezekiel X2, Geoff X3, Endive X2 and Panini.

Panini: 8.

Gorgonzola: 10.

Truffles: 10.

Jonsey: 8.

Shnitzel: 9.

Ezekiel: 6.

Geoff: 6.

DJ: 9.

Caitlin: 2.

Gazpacho: 6.

Endive: 6.

Tied:

Panini/Jonsey.

Gorgonzola/Truffles.

Shnitzel/DJ.

Winners:

Panini, Truffles and Shnitzel.

(The three winners come to the dock of shame

Chris: And here they are! And you can see them in the next episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!

(End)


	10. Meet The Warmen

TCIR EP10: Meet The Warmen

**The two teams will play a giant game of capture the flag, but they will use paintball guns, paintball mines and more paintball weapons to blast away all of their opponents. The team that captures the flag first will win today's extreme challenge! Find out which team wins and which team **_**doesn't**_** win on today's episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!**

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the two teams set out on a mountain race, using their cars. Peter managed to bring cow manure with him and uses it as a secret weapon to blast the Screaming Gophers team away and get the Killer Bass team to win the mountain race challenge! The Killer Bass got 2 new teammates, Schnitzel and Panini and also got Truffles to return to Total Cartoon Island Return after her place as the second camper to be voted off Total Cartoon Island Return! Beth was voted off due to her love of cow manure! So, with Beth gone, what will the gophers do after their winning streak had ended? Will Gorgonzola, DJ and Gazpacho join the Screaming Gophers on the quest for the two billion dollars? And who will be voted off Total Cartoon Island Return for good? You will find out the answers of these questions and even more questions on another epic episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(11:30 Bonfire: All 22 campers come to the bonfire just when Chris came in)

Chris: Huh, guess you are all full of energy for today's extreme max impact challenge! Today's challenge is something I call a giant game of Capture the Flag. But instead of tagging them with your bare hands, you have to shoot them with a paint gun and other paintball weapons. First team to get the other team's flag wins the challenge and a prize.

Duncan: That's it? No conditions, extras or obstacles?

Chris: Yes, except that there has to be a winner. This could go on for days… or years! (Everybody gasps) Haha! I'm only kidding! The limit is 2 days exactly. The flag is up… there! (Points at the cliff, where the flag is)

Gwen: Oh, he's not serious!

Chris: And your bases are the cabins you live in! So grab your gear and weapons and moooove out! (Every camper goes in different directions all around the camp)

(We cut to Peter and Schnitzel making it to the top of the cliff)

Schnitzel: Ooh! Oh, radda!

Peter: We made it! (Grabs the flag) Yeah! Now let's go home already! (They start to run but they see Phineas, Ferb and Justin running up to the top of the cliff. When the three Gophers start to dive into the two Bass guys, Peter and Schnitzel, they shoot the Gophers off the cliff and into the safe zone down in the cliff) Whew! (Peter and Schnitzel run down the cliff and get to the cabins, but are blown away by a mine. They get back up and jump over the mines, but are tackled and trapped by Trent, Izzy and Gwen. Trent grabs the flag)

Trent: (To Peter and Schnitzel) Who's the boss now? (Becomes trapped in a rope cage, leaving the flag on the ground. The rope cage gets latched to a medieval catapult and is swung into Lake Wawanakwa, leaving Trent in the lake as well. Mung and Truffles come out of nowhere, grab the flag and they throw it into the Killer Bass cabin, thus winning the challenge for the Killer Bass)

Chris: And that's a score for Mung, Truffles and the Killer Bass!! (The Killer Bass team members cheer) And as for the Screaming Gophers, sucks to be you right now. But you get second prize!

Justin: What's the second prize, then?

Chris: Two more campers on your team or maybe previous losers.

Trent: Well, that's good to know!

Chris: Okay, see you nine campers at the bonfire!

(At the next Screaming Gophers bonfire ceremony)

Votes:

Gwen: Lindsay.

Justin: Ferb.

Leshawna: Ferb.

Lindsay: Ferb.

Izzy: Ferb.

Trent: Lindsay then Ferb twice.

Candace: Lindsay then Ferb and Phineas.

Ferb: Lindsay and Candace.

Phineas: Lindsay and Candace.

Votes for Ferb: 7 votes.

Votes for Lindsay: 5 votes.

Votes for Phineas: 1 vote.

Votes for Candace: 2 votes.

Chris: You've voted for who goes and who stays at this island. And remember, if you do not receive a marshmallow, it's curtains for you! And marshmallows go to first Phineas, next Candace. Two campers picked but six more to go. Izzy. Leshawna. Trent. Gwen. Justin. So, there's only one marshmallow that either Lindsay or Ferb is gonna get. This final marshmallow… goes to… Lindsay. (She gets her marshmallow) Sorry, Ferb, but you had 7 votes and the most votes. Others voted for Candace and others also did Phineas for being a jackass.

Phineas: What?!

Candace: Well, I still love you.

Everyone else except Ferb, Phineas and Candace: (Gasp!)

Phineas: Okay, yeah! That's right! I am in love with my sister!

Ferb: And they kissed.

Everyone else except Ferb, Phineas and Candace: (Gasp!)

Ferb: And by the way, I'll miss you all! (Walks onto the boat of losers and leaves the crappy summer camp for good. Another boat drops off the losers Owen and Cody, as they are the returning campers)

Owen: (Gasp!) I'm back? I'm back! WOOOOO-HOOOOO!

Chris: Yes, it's true! Owen and Cody are back on the island! And don't forget to tune in on another episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!

(End)


	11. Two Billion Bucks, BC

TCIR EP11: Two Billion Bucks, BC

**Chris moves things up by mixing around the competition, removing the useless camper, Bridgette, from the competition and dissolving the teams. Then he makes the campers do a crazy challenge that they will never forget! Find out what else happens on Total Cartoon Island Return!**

_Cutaway and confessional font._

**Disclaimer font.**

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return! The teams had to play a giant game of Capture the Flag, where there were risky moves, extreme caution and dangerous criminals! Thanks to Mung and Truffles, the Killer Bass won another challenge, thus the Screaming Gophers were again on the chopping block. In the end, Ferb, the high-tech dude, got voted off for unknown reasons. And in a shocking twist, I got Owen and Cody to come back to Total Cartoon Island Return for another chance to win the couple billion dollars! Will Phineas avenge the voting off of his brother and make out with his big sis? Will Mung and Truffles's relationship get Chowder away from Panini? When's Bridgette gonna be useful?! Find out all these answers and more on today's episode of…… Total Cartoon Island Return!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(11:30, at the dramatic Dock of Shame. All campers were called to come to the Dock of Shame for some very big news. Chris comes out)

Chris: Yo! Here's the big news!

Owen: Okay, what intern died today?

Chris: Nobody died today. But right now, the two teams are now dissolved!

Bender: Finally!

Chris: But another camper will lose a couple billions for good! Right now, I will take only one camper and place him or her on the boat of losers to leave Total Cartoon Island Return forever!

Owen: (Gasps) Oh god!

Trent: Well, t-tell us who it is!

Chris: Okay! Well, since Bridgette is useless in the competition now, she is hereby a loser! But she will be terribly missed. But Geoff will get a great reunion with his girlfriend! (Laughs) (Bridgette sheds a couple of tears, walks down the dreaded dock of shame and leaves Camp Wawanakwa and Total Cartoon Island Return on the cracked, stinky Boat of Losers for good) (Laughs) I love this show! And now for the challenge!

Mung: Oh, no! Not another challenge! Please give us a vacay!

Chris: (Dramatically) Never!

Mung: I give up.

_(Cue Owen's confessional)_

_Owen: I'm so glad to be back! It's like Chrismas with action! (Laughs) Action-mas! Oh, yeah. It's not Total Cartoon Action now. Props to you, Jonsey!_

_(End Owen's confessional)_

_(Cue Mung's confessional)_

_Mung: I can't believe Chris! I really need to quit Total Cartoon Island Return for good!_

_(End Mung's confessional)_

(We cut some sort of set that looks like something from a million years in the past)

Chris: Welcome to prehistoric times! (Laughs) But it's not really the prehistoric times, but it's where your challenge is going to take place! (Laughs) Now, all you have to do is collect dinosaur eggs and avoid the Chef-osaurus Rex! (Chef comes in wearing a dinosaur suit)

Chef: I hate my job.

Chris: Your nests are around a tree. And the person with all 10 eggs in the dinosaur nest wins the challenge and his or her very own solo invincibility! Then, someone will go home tonight in the most dramatic Total Cartoon Island Return evah! And… go! (Everybody runs around the set screaming out loud)

(Owen hops into a bush and hides from Chef and finds an egg. He runs and gets chased by Chef "Tyrannosaurus Rex" Hatchet as he gets closer to a nest that says "Owen". Owen then drops his egg in the nest as soon as he reaches it. Chef grabs Owen)

Chef: Gotcha!

Owen: Oh no! (Schnitzel tackles Chef and drops two eggs in a nest that says his name) Thanks!

Schnitzel: Radda radda!

(We cut to Peter, who is quickly searching for the dinosaur eggs. He finds 5 eggs in a box)

Peter: Sweet! (He quickly runs to his nest and drops off all five of his dinosaur eggs)

Chris: And Peter leads with 5 dinosaur eggs in his nest! How will any other person make a lead to winning the first merge challenge? And who _will_ win the challenge? Find out when we get right back with some more epic Total Cartoon Island Return!!

(Commercial Break)

(Commercial Break ends. Cue the next scene of the show)

Chris: Welcome back to Total Cartoon Island Return! We're in the middle of some pretty awesome action right now!

(We cut to Mung, holding a dinosaur egg, stuck in a chase scene by Chef Hatchet)

Mung: Oh, if only I never got picked for another season, this wouldn't happen to me! It would have happened to Endive if she was picked for a chance for this season! (Bender sees this and jumps into the air. It goes to slow motion for some dramatic effect and the _Six Billion Dollar Man_ bionic sound plays as Bender jumps into the air and hops on the angry chef's back)

Bender: Yo, what's up, fatass?

Chef: Who you callin' fatass? (Chef struggles as he tries getting Bender off his back, literally!)

Bender: I'm not lettin' go!

(We cut to Mung, running with his dino egg. He spots his nest, which has 3 more eggs in it)

Mung: The nest! (He trips and falls. Luckily, the dinosaur egg falls into the nest) Phew!

(We cut back to Bender and Chef. Chef grabs Bender and throws him off his back. Bender lands on his feet next to Peter)

Bender: I'm back, baby. (Lights a cigar, then smokes it)

(Peter starts looking for his 10th…shit dinosaur egg under a rock, in a cave, under a stalagmite)

Peter: No time now, I got to find the 10th and last egg!

Chris: And don't forget everybody! It's a couple billion bucks!

(We cut to Cody, who's looking for his 8th dinosaur egg. He passes by Gwen, then Cody runs right back to Gwen and leans next to her)

Cody: Hey, Gwen! How's about we go out tonight? (Gwen gets angry slaps Cody) Ow!

Gwen: Pervert! (Gwen then walks away. Cody gets sad and walks slowly to his 8th dinosaur egg. Cody gets excited and grabs the dinosaur egg, then quickly runs over to his nest and drops the egg in)

Cody: Codemister, you are _so_ great! (He looks up and sees Peter on the tree, shaking a branch, looking for a dino egg until an dinosaur egg falls out of the tree and then lands in Cody's nest by accident)

Chris: Wow! Now Peter Griffin and Cody Thomas are tied for 9 dinosaur eggs! (Laughs; to the screen) I love this show!

Peter: Dammit! (Peter Griffin shakes the branch again until another dinosaur egg falls out of the same tree and lands in Mung's nest, making it 5 dinosaur eggs for Mung Daal)

Chris: (Laughs) And Mung Daal gets another dino egg, making it 5 dinosaur eggs for him!

Mung: Thanks, Peter Barf-in!

Peter: Okay, it's offical! Karma is now biting me in the butt and hard! (Peter Griffin spots a dinosaur egg and grabs it. Peter falls off the tree and lands on Cody. They both get up) My last dinosaur egg's okay! (Cody grabs it)

Cody: You mean _my_ last dinosaur egg. (Peter Griffin and Cody play Tug of War with the egg. Schnitzel runs into Peter and Cody. The egg falls into Schnitzel's nest, which had 9 eggs before, but now has 10, thus winning the challenge)

Schnitzel: Radda ra? Radda ra!

Cody and Peter: Crap!

_(Cue Cody's confessional)_

_Cody: (About Peter) Ugh! I've had it with Peter! He really used to annoy me before I got kicked off! I should vote _him_ off or my name isn't Cody Angus Thomas! (Gasps) Don't tell Peter about the Angus part! Or Harold! Or Gwen!_

_(End Cody's confessional)_

Chris: And there you have it! Schnitzel wins himself a challenge and some good old invincibility! Now tonight, someone's crying him or herself back to home! Just imagine how many E-Mails I got on my computer! And the amount of ratings! (Chris laughs)

Votes:

Duncan: Harold and Peter.

Courtney: Peter.

Harold: Duncan and Mung.

Peter: Cody and Mung.

Jen: Mung.

Jude: Jen.

Chowder: Panini 5 times.

Mung: Himself 6 times.

Truffles: Mung.

Bender: None. (He was bored with the challenges)

Panini: Mung and Truffles.

Schnitzel: Mung.

Owen: Cody.

Gwen: Cody 2 times.

Justin: Izzy.

Leshawna: Cody.

Lindsay: Mung, then Cody 2 times.

Izzy: Justin 2 times.

Cody: Mung and Peter.

Trent: Cody.

Candace: None.

Phineas: Harold.

(Votes for…)

Harold: 2.

Mung: 14.

Cody: 8.

Justin: 2.

Izzy: 1.

Truffles: 1.

Duncan: 1.

Peter: 3.

Panini: 5.

Jen: 1

(The bonfire ceremony)

Chris: Okay, I've got twenty-one marshmallows here on my plate, and you've casted your votes. Let me get to the results, but let's speed this up a little. All but Panini, Mung, Harold and Cody. Harold. (Harold gets his marshmallow) Panini. (Panini gets her marshmallow) (Mung and Cody are left) Okay, we're down to one marshmallow and Mung and Cody are on the chopping block. The person without the marshmallow is forced to walk down the dreaded Dock of Shame, go and hitch a ride of Boat of Loser and leave Camp Wawanakwa _and_ lose your chance at winning the great grand prize of two billion bucks! And you can't turn your back on it! Ever! The final marshmallow……… goes to……… Cody. (Throws a marshmallow to Cody)

Cody: Woo!

Chris: Sorry, Mung, you're out of the competition!

Mung: (Cheery full of glee) Yippie skippy! Hooray! (Runs off the dock of shame, grabs onto the boat of losers and leaves Total Cartoon Island Return for good)

Chris: Shocker. And for the rest of you, you are all safe… for tonight! Well, that kind of drama wraps up another dramatic episode of this show! What will happen to the campers next time? I'm your host, Chris Maclean! Don't forget to turn on, tune in and watch another episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!! (The camera zooms back in on Chris) Yo! It's over now!

Owen: Wait! I've got one question for you! (Dramatic music plays) Why was Bridgette suddenly voted off this morning?

Chris: Because she was weak and losing ratings for our show! Now, end the show, interns! Geez! (The screen fades to black)

(End)


	12. Off to Boney Island

TCIR EP12: Off to Boney Island

**Chris makes all the campers go on a canoe trip to the deadly Boney Island! With Mung gone, Chowder gets more advanced into the competition and could win the two billon smackaroos in a hurry! Will Schnitzel score another chance to stay on the island yet again? How will Peter survive the competition with Mung out of the way? Why the hell hasn't Jen said anything yet since Total Cartoon Extreme?! And who will be the one getting kicked back to home in the most dramatic bonfire of the ages yet? All these answers…er, answered in the most epic episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!**

_Cutaway and confessional font._

**Disclaimer font.**

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

Chris: In the last episode of Total Cartoon Island Return, I first kicked Bridgette off the show because of low ratings. Then, the 22 got into a dinosaur challenge: an egg hunt! Cody tried to flirt with Gwen, but failed quickly! Cody did get pretty sad Peter G. seemed to be a hell of a lot fun and boosted ratings with his personality! Good job, dude! Bender B. Rodriguez actually attacked Chef Hatchet to stall the other people. Then, as Peter Griffin found an egg, Cody fought over it with a quick game of tug-o-war! In the end, Schnitzel technically won the challenge and some solo invincibility along with it! Thanks, estupidos! (Laughs) In the end, Mung Daal voted himself off because he couldn't take anymore of this show. Wow, I couldn't believe the drama caused in that challenge! But Chowder got more confident in the competition now that Mung left. So, who will lose the chance at 2 billion bucks? Will Jen say _anything_ in this episode? And what will happen to the campers in today's challenge? All these questions will be answered and more on today's extremely epic episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End of theme song)

(We cut back to Total Cartoon Island Return. It shows Owen, who is leaning next a tree and sleeping. A squirrel drops an acorn in his mouth, and Owen swallows it. The squirrel walks away)

Owen: Mmm, acorns. (A snap is heard and Owen wakes up) What the?! What was that? (Peter Griffin comes out of the Killer Bass cabin)

Peter: What? What is it, Owen?! (Chris's helicopter lands in the middle of the camp) Hey, how come Chris gets a helicopter? (Chris comes out of the helicopter)

Chris: Phew! I made it! Okay, campers, this challenge will blow your freakin' mind! A canoe trip to Boney Island!

Duncan: Well, deja freakin' vu! We've done it before!

Chris: I know! In Total Drama Island, remember? Beth got a cursed tiki doll? Cody was nice to Gwen? Found a bra? Izzy got chased by the RCMP? Ring a bell? Hello?

Peter: Nope.

Izzy: Oh, I know that episode!

_(Cue Flashback)_

_(We cut to the final part of the bonfire)_

_Chris: Who's it gonna be? (A RCMP helicopter comes out of nowhere and shines a spotlight on Izzy)_

_RCMP person: Izzy! We know you are down there! You are under arrest!_

_(A few seconds later, Izzy gets up)_

_Izzy: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!! (Runs off laughing like a maniac)_

_(End Flashback)_

Izzy: (Laughs) Good thing the RCMP are friends with me!

Peter: Yeah, hopefully!

(We cut to the dock where many canoes lay on the lake)

Chris: All you have to do is swim your canoes to Boney Island, portage your canoes, and I mean walk with your canoes, to the other side of the island, make your own fire, then swim back here! The first person back it the island wins some invincibility. Then, three people will go home, just to make the competition quicker! Yeah, that's right! Three people! Due to budget cuts, there are enough for 3 people per canoe! Sorry! Good luck, though! But the team that passes the finish line first wins invincibility for all members of the canoe team! And the team that makes last place will have all team members of the canoe team to go back home! Now… team up!

Teams:

1. Gwen, Trent and Leshawna.

Harold, Duncan and Courtney.

Peter, Bender and Candace.

Phineas, Owen and Cody.

Chowder, Truffles and Schnitzel.

Lindsay, Izzy and Justin.

Jen, Jude and Panini.

(Later)

(All seven teams are in their canoes)

Chris: (Holding a cork gun) Are you ready? Get set and go! (Shoots the cork gun. All teams start rowing. A bird gets hit by the cork and falls to the ground) That's _still_ gonna prevoke some angry e-mails.

(Team 5)

Chowder: So… is a slomato just like a tomato?

Truffles: Yep.

Chowder: What about smeachs and peaches?

Schnitzel: Radda.

Chowder: Troccoli and broccoli?

Truffles: Yes.

Chowder: What about—

Truffles: Stop talking!

Chowder: Okay. Well, I don't miss Mung so much!

Truffles: Well, good!

(Team 3)

Peter: (Whistling a song)

Bender: Can you just be quiet?

Peter: Eh, okay. Hey, guys! Do you know what me and my friends used to do to pass the time on the lake? Go fishing! (Pulls out a fishing rod)

Bender: (Sarcastically) Yeah, really.

Candace: Wait, where did that fishing rod come from?

Peter: You don't wanna know.

Bender: Um… wait! Ew!

Peter: Yeah! Up my butt!

Bender: Okay, I got to say that that is extremely gross!

Candace: Yeah! Who in the right mind would keep a fishing rod up his butt?

Peter: Hey, I'm just trying to help win the challenge here!

Bender: You know what? You're gross! What else do you have? A spare oar up your nose?

Peter: No!

Bender: What about corks in your ears?

Peter: (Digging out corks) What?

Bender: See? (To Candace) He needs to say goodbye to this competition!

(Team 4 passes their canoe)

Owen: If this boat's a-knockin', don't come a-knockin! (Laughs) Hey, look! I see Boney Island! (All teams reach Boney Island and start portaging their canoes) Come on! Let's go faster!

(We cut to the two teams, Teams 4, 1, 3 and 2 on camera, who are all portaging their canoes. Owen is gobbling down a tuna fish sandwich that he kept in his pants in a bag for 2, maybe 3 days)

Phineas: When did you get that sandwich?

Owen: I got it at Playa De Losers and kept it for about 3 days. Hey, watch this! (Owen then pulls out an apple and throws it at Peter)

Peter: Hey, who just hit me? (Then Bender knocks Peter out of the way and raises his fists)

Bender: Let me at 'em!

Owen: Oh, you want a pop in the chops?!

Bender: Oh, just check the gut! (Knocks on his groin area) Nothing. (Owen gets angry, but starts sinking)

Owen: Uh, do you feel something sink? (He sees that he stepped on quicksand, screams and quickly gets out of the quicksand) Quicksand! (Everybody else makes it past the quicksand and to the other side of Boney Island. Then the canoe riders start searching for wood. Bender holds up a piece of wood and drops it into a pile of wood for his team)

Bender: There we go! All set! (Bender sees that Team 2 has already made a fire) Hey, how did they make a fire so fast like that? (Duncan holds up a lighter) Oh.

(We cut to Chris Maclean, who is in his helicopter)

Chris: No rule against using lighters. Edge: Team 2!

(We cut to Team 6, around a pile of wood)

Justin: How are we gonna get the biggest fire? (Izzy holds up her fire starter)

Izzy: This gotta do the trick: A fire starter! Okay, stand back, everybody! (Throws the fire starter into the fire and it blows up, making a gigantic fire. The explosion blows away Chris Maclean's helicopter)

Chris: Whoo-hoo-hoo!! Team 6 are our fire bending winners!

Bender: (He sees Team 6's fire) Faith and begonia! They just beat us!

Peter: Aw man! Wait! We still have a chance! (The teams all get on their canoes and race to the finish line. Then, the teams pass the finish line in order:

Team 3.

Team 2.

Team 1.

Team 4.

Team 5.

Team 6.

Team 7.

Chris: And Team 3 wins the challenge! Team 7, say goodbye to your chance of winning two billion dollars! (Jen, Jude and Panini walk down the old, crusty and dreaded Dock of Shame, catch the boat of losers and leave Camp Wawanakwa and Total Cartoon Island Return for good) And you, the viewer, will need to tune in on another episode of… Total Cartoon Island Return!! Maclean out!


	13. No Pain, No Game

TCIR EP13: No Pain, No Game

**Now, the 18 campers will do the exotic challenge, No Pain, No Game! With the two billion smackaroos stuffed in a check, the campers have to survive the challenge to get farther in the game by having no pain in any kind of torture! Even if it hurts! So, how will all eighteen campers survive this kind of challenge? Who will win the challenge's prize? And who will get the boot off Camp Wawanakwa in the next epic Total Cartoon Island Return bonfire ceremony of the century? Find out in the most gut-wrenching, vomit inducing, crazy, bio-weird, mashed potato-y, off the top, on the ground, two-ton, violent, epic episode of the good old high-planet-rating reality show shown all around the entire world, Total Cartoon Island Return!!!**

_Cutaway and confessional font._

**Disclaimer font.**

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

(Cue Recap)

Chris: In the previous episode of Total Cartoon Island Return, the 21 dissolved campers went on a canoe trip to the deadly Boney Island in teams! Deja vu! Bender and Owen got in a little problem as they got into a fight! Izzy's team got a chance to win the fire-building part of the challenge, but the ultimate win went to the third team, Peter, Candace and Bender! In the end, the seventh team, insisting of Jen Masterson, Jude Losowski and Panini, Endive's cooking student, got the boot off Camp Wawanakwa and definitely lost a chance at a couple billion big ones! What will happen to the 18 campers today? Who will be voted off Camp Wawanakwa in the most dramatic Total Cartoon Island Return bonfire ever?! And most importantly, is Peter going to win another season? Find out tonight on… Total Cartoon Island Return!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End theme song)

(Cue next scene. On a bright sunny day, all campers woke up to the sound of helicopter blades spinning, as Chris landed his crimson helicopter in the middle of the island and, unexpectedly, chopped off the top of the megaphone on top of the flagpole, causing the piece to flip around and land on the top of 1 of the 4 confessionals. Peter popped out of the Killer Bass cabin and ran outside with the rest of the contestants on this show)

Peter: What the hell?!

Chris: Oh! Sorry, dudes! My bad!

(Chris Maclean, the host, then tumbled out of his helicopter in an epic fashion)

Chris: Just remind this as an old accident next time, okay? 'Cause right now, if you got no pain, you got game!

Duncan: Let me guess: Today's challenge is called No Pain, No Game!

Chris: Wow! Awesome, dude! (Chuckles) You just found out today's challenge!

_(Cue Owen's confessional)_

_Owen: No pain, no game? That was a Total Drama Island classic! He needs more time figuring out the challenge with the producers!_

_(End Owen's confessional)_

_(Cue Chris's confessional)_

_Chris: (Holding up a contract) That's what contracts are for, okay?!_

_(End Chris's confessional)_

_(Cue Peter's confessional)_

_Peter: Wow, I haven't been this excited about a Total Cartoon Island Return challenge since the time I was breastfeeding Stewie! (Looks around the confessional) What? No clip? Okay then, but I am still excited about this challenge and I am gonna win!_

_(End Peter's confessional)_

(We cut back to the show. The 18 campers and Chris Maclean, looking sadistic, as usual, are now on the amphitheater, which looks like the No Pain, No Game challenge set)

Chris: It is now time for… No Pain, No Game! (The No Pain, No Game music plays) In this challenge, you must last 10 seconds doing something that hurts you and stay like that! The last camper standing will win the challenge, a prize and invincibility! And the prize? A golden trailer for you to live in! (Chef Hatchet walks over to the trailer pulls a dark green sheet off it. A harp plays)

_(Cue Bender's confessional)_

_Bender: Man, if I win this challenge, I would sell that shiny glowin' trailer for about a million dollars or even much more amounts of money like that!_

_(End Bender's confessional)_

(We cut back to the challenge)

Chris: Oh, did I forget something? Oh yeah! One of the campers who have lasted only one round will lose the chance of winning two billion dollars because his or her butt is going off this lazy camp! In fact, it's _two_ people who are getting both of their butts sent right back home! Are there any questions?

Peter: Uh, will there be snacks?

Chris: Nope!

Peter: (Saddened) Aw!

Chris: Owen, you're up first to take a chance to take pain! (Spins the wheel of misfortune) Let's find it out! (The wheel of misfortune stops on a picture of cinder blocks in a bowl) Eat a couple of crusty cinder blocks out of a bowl!

Owen: C-c-cinder blocks?

Chris: That's right, Owen, my man! You have to eat cinder blocks for about 10 seconds and advance to the second and next round of pain dares!

Owen: Uh, okay then. (Chef dumps some crusty, old cinder blocks into a red bowl)

Chris: And… go! (Owen starts gnawing on cinder blocks and succeeds the pain dare by eating 1 half of a cinder block)

Owen: Woo!

Chris: And Owen advances to the second round! Isn't this fun?

Owen: Sort of.

Chris: Schnitzel, you're next to do an embarrassing or extremely painful pain dare! (Spins the wheel of misfortune) And your pain dare is going to be… (The wheel of misfortune stops on a picture of a dismembered leg) Get your leg hacked off by a chainsaw! (Everybody gasps)

Trent: Aren't you trying to avoid lawsuits?!

Chris: Yes, but this is going to be awesome!

Phineas: Yes! This is insane! Everybody dies of chainsaw murder, dude!

Chris: Oh! Sorry, but look at the ratings! They're off the top!

Phineas: Oh lord. (Chef Hatchet revs his rusty chainsaw and goes for Schnitzel's right leg)

Schnitzel: (Screams in horror) (Then, he makes like a road runner and runs out of the amphitheater) RAAAAADDDAAAA!!!!!! (A buzzer sounds, meaning that Schnitzel is out of the challenge)

Chris: Well, I guess that was too much and technically, he's out of the challenge and just lost a one-time chance for a golden trailer! (Chef Hatchet shows the golden trailer again)

Schnitzel: (Runs back onto the amphitheater) Ra-radda?

Chris: Yes, you're out of this challenge! Say hello to your new seat, Schnitzel! The Cage of Fears! (The chair disappears and a cage lands next to the campers) Oh, Chef Hatchet? (Chef Hatchet comes out of nowhere, flops Schnitzel over his shoulder and throws Schnitzel into the cage of fears) Okay, Cody, you're up next! (Cody quivers in fear (To the viewers) And you can see Cody do his wheel-of-misfortune-selected pain dare when we get back for some more epic… Total Cartoon Island Return!!!

(Fade to black)

(Commercial break)

(Commercial break ends. We cut back to the amphitheater for some more drama as Chris spins the wheel of misfortune to select Cody's torture)

Chris: And Cody's selected pain dare is… (The wheel of misfortune lands on a picture of a pool filled with piranhas) Stay in a pool filled with piranhas!!

Cody: (Gasps)

Gwen: And that's even worse!

Cody: I gotta get outta here!

Chris: Too late! (We cut to Cody tied to a chair, which is being lowered down to the pool of piranhas) (Laughs) Isn't this fun? (He sees the chair, which is now empty) Huh? (Chris sees Cody run away, trip on a stick and lands in the open cage of fears. The buzzer sounds again) (Laughs) You just lost a chance for winning a golden trailer! (Laughs in Cody's misfortune)

(A montage starts)

Pain dares:

Duncan: Turtle puck shots. (Succeeded) Lay in a barrel of leeches. (Failed)

Courtney: Go past the skunk jump. (Failed)

Harold: Stay in a cage full of ninjas. (Succeeded) Get zapped by electric eels. (Failed)

Peter: Drink ipecac. (Succeeded) Watch a chick flick. (Succeeded) Get wrapped in poison ivy and survive. (Succeeded) (Still remaining)

Chowder: Eat flibber flabber. (Succeeded) Stay in a box with a bear in it. (Failed)

Truffles: Kiss Chef's armpit. (Succeeded, but puked) Jump into the shark infested pool. (Failed)

Bender: Drink piranha blood. (Succeeded) Avoid a train. (Failed)

Owen: Eat a leech. (Succeeded) Lift a tiger. (Succeeded) (Still remaining)

Gwen: Listen to new age music. (Failed)

Justin: Look ugly. (Failed)

Leshawna: Beat the log-rolling bear. (Succeeded) Dive into a pool full of spiders. (Failed)

Lindsay: Lick Owen's armpit. (Failed)

Izzy: Get her head wrapped in poison ivy. (Not like Peter) (Eliminated herself)

Trent: Get strangled by a snake. (Succeeded) Lay on a bed of spikes. (Failed)

Candace: Rechew a wad of Harold's gross gum. (Succeeded) Arm wrestle Chef. (Failed)

Phineas: Get covered in bees. (Succeeded) Spend ten seconds in a box with Sasquatchanakwa. (Failed)

(End montage)

Chris: And now it's the final round! Owen and Peter are left standing! Who will win the golden trailer? Find out when we get back to… Total Cartoon Island Return!

(Commercial break)

(Commercial break ends)

Chris: Welcome back! And let's see what pain dare Peter gets! (Spins the wheel of misfortune. The wheel of misfortune lands on a picture of a moose) Get trampled by mooses! (A moose runs over Peter) Uh, slight budget cut: There's only one moose. (The moose runs over Peter a few more times until the time limit is up) And Peter wins the challenge! Owen is out! Peter wins the challenge, invincibility and the challenge prize! (Peter hugs his new golden trailer) Okay, while Peter checks out the trailer full of food, two campers are getting off this camp!

Votes: (The first and second most voted campers leave Total Cartoon Island Return)

Duncan: Schnitzel and Cody.

Courtney: Schnitzel.

Harold: Cody and Justin.

Peter: Cody, Schnitzel and Gwen.

Chowder: Justin and Gwen.

Truffles: Cody, Schnitzel (Times 2) and Justin.

Bender: Schnitzel and Cody (Times 3).

Owen: Cody and Schnitzel.

Gwen: Cody.

Justin: Izzy.

Leshawna: Cody and Schnitzel.

Lindsay: Cody.

Izzy: Justin.

Cody: Schnitzel.

Trent: Cody and Schnitzel.

Candace: Cody.

Phineas: Cody.

Votes for:

Cody: 14.

Schnitzel: 9.

Justin: 3.

Gwen: 2.

Izzy: 1.

Losers: Cody and Schnitzel.

(The bonfire ceremony)

Chris: You've all cast your votes and made your decisions. There are 16 marshmallows on my plate here. The people that does not receive a marshmallow at all must both immediately head for the Dock of Shame, grab the boat of losers, and get the hell out of this camp! And the two can never come back……_ever_. Peter, Justin, Izzy, Phineas, Candace, Gwen, Owen, Bender, Trent, Lindsay, Leshawna, Truffles, Chowder, Duncan, Courtney. Harold, Cody and Schnitzel, this is the final marshmallow. (Dramatic music) The final marshmallow goes to………………………… (More dramatic music) Harold.

Harold: Yes!

Chris: Cody and Schnitzel, you two have to go now. (Cody and Schnitzel walk down the dock of shame, hop onto the boat of losers and leave Camp Wawanakwa and Total Cartoon Island Return forever)

(End)


	14. Hide and Be Sneaky

TCIR EP14: Hide and Be Very Sneaky

**Today on Total Cartoon Island Return, the 16 remaining campers have to be forced to do a very deadly game of hide and seek, and Chef "Master Chief" Hatchet is it, and with a extremely high-powered water blaster! One camper will make it to the lifeguard chair safe and sound and will win invincibility! Then, another camper leaves the dreaded Camp Wawanakwa by going down the crappy dock of shame and leaving on the extra stinky and dust-covered boat of losers for good!! Find out what else will happen in today's episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!**

Italic font is cutaway, flashback and confessional font.

Bold font is disclaimer and theme song font.

Normal font is normal script and recap font.

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

(Cue Recap)

Chris: In episode thirteen of Total Cartoon Island Return, the 18 remaining campers were forced to play the No Pain, No Game challenge! When it comes to eating cinder blocks, getting your leg chopped off, which would go into a suing in the progress, swimming in a piranha infested pool, licking Owen's armpit, fighting ninjas in a cage, listening to new age music and doing other weird and/or painful pain dares, this challenge was the best in the season!! In the end, the two chickens… (Clucks like a chicken) Cody and Schnitzel were voted off Total Cartoon Island Return forever! So, who will crumble under the pressure? Will there be another Family Guy character appearing on Total Cartoon Island Return and… (Crunching is heard; With mouth full) who will be kicked off this crappy camp forever in this episode? Hey, what can I say? A lot of drama makes me crave a bit of popcorn! But, it's time to put away the snacks, guys, cause today, we're gonna blow the roof off this camp! (Someone vomits violently in a porta-potty) Hang on to your spleen, guts and liver, everybody, because we're going for a chance to watch some more epic and awesome Total Cartoon Island Return!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End theme song)

(The camera focuses on Chris Maclean as Chris approaches the cabins with a scarlet megaphone)

Chris: (To the camera) Shh… they're still sleeping. (He sounds an alarm, quickly waking up all the campers) (Through the megaphone) Bed time's over, everybody, because today, it's time for another challenge!

(Peter comes out of the Killer Bass cabin, wearing no pants and quarter-tired)

Peter: (To the rest of the people in the guys cabin, sans Harold and Duncan) Hey, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, okay, guys?

Bender: (From the cabin) Shut up!

Peter: Y-you shut up! (Walks over to the confessional and goes inside it)

(We see a smug-looking Duncan standing next to the entrance to the guys cabin. Harold, who is steaming angry, bursts out of the mess hall holding s'mores in his left hand, but his underwear is in it)

Harold: Okay, who's been making s'mores out of my underwear again?!

(Duncan tries to hold back laughter. Harold gets angrier and punches Duncan in the face)

(Cue Duncan's confessional - A free punch in the face!)

(Duncan now has a bloody nose)

Duncan: Damn! Can't that nerd just admit defeat?!

(End Duncan's confessional)

(We cut back to Total Cartoon Island Return. Harold walks back into the guys cabin, wanting to vote off Duncan a ton of times. 1 minute and 12 seconds later, when the campers came down to the dock of shame for today's challenge. Chris Maclean, still looking sadistic as usual is there as well, with Chef, who is holding a water gun)

Chris: Campers, today's challenge is a good or should I say deadly game of hide and seek with Chef, who will splash you with water and tag all of you out! If you make it out and get on the lifeguard chair, you will win the challenge and gain pretty much mostly invincibility! But be careful, cause Chef here is gonna drown you with his pretty much oversized Nerf water gun! (Laughs)

Duncan: (seeing Chef with his water gun, sarcastically) Oooh, we're gonna get splashed by a bit of water. Now I'm terrified.

Chris: Why don't you demonstrate, Chef? (Chef gets his big water gun ready and blasts the left side including Chris, while he has been blasted over about a mile away) NOT ON ME, DUDE!

(Cue Gwen's confessional - Chef is boss here!)

Gwen: Okay. Whoever's sick, twisted idea this was to put (referring to Chef) him in charge of this challenge, I have to say... I'm a little bit impressed.

(End Gwen's confessional)

(Cue Chowder's confessional - Cameras are edible?!)

(Chowder is focused on eating all one hundred of his cheeseburgers and not on the camera. He sees the camera, gets much, much, much more hungrier and eats it, quickly cutting to static)

(End Chowder's confessional)

(We cut back to the dock)

Chris: (All wet and looking at his watch) Ready… and go!

Lindsay: (Confused) Uh… (Everybody else runs off. Lindsay also runs away, screaming like a maniac)

(We cut to outside the confessional. Bender is inside it)

(Cue Bender's confessional - Hiding and rusting)

Bender: (Softly) Alright, be quiet. Be quiet. (Chef runs in and squirts Bender. Bender laughs) Wait, is this chlorine?

Chef: Yep!

Bender: Oh, shit, it is!!!! Oh god no!!!!! (He rusts and falls over on the confessional floor) Ouch!

(End Bender's confessional)

(We cut to the girls cabin, where Lindsay is hiding under a bed. Chris walks in and sees Lindsay there)

Chris: Lindsay, couldn't you do better than hiding under your bed?

Lindsay: Fooled you! This isn't even my bunk.

Chris: Oh, Chef Hatchet...!

(Chef Hatchet bursts through the door, with a very angry look on his face)

Lindsay: YAAAAAAH!!! (quickly zips out from under the bed and runs outside)

(We cut to Owen and Peter getting up onto the mess hall's roof. They gasp when they see each other)

Peter: What are you doing in my hiding spot, man?

Owen: Your hiding spot? It's mine! (the roof seems to be losing its weight upon Owen) Do you know how hard it took for me to get up here?

Peter: (the roof loses its weight upon him) Look, I know we're tight and all, but... (before he can answer, the roof breaks, Peter falls through the roof of the dining hall) Aah!

Owen: Ah! Peter, are you okay? (the roof breaks, Owen falls through the roof of the dining hall) Aah! (after falling through the roof of the dining hall) Owwwwh, I landed on my keys! (He gets up and sees a tranquilizer dart on his shoulder. He falls over. Later, he gets out of the mess hall, and is blasted a mile away by Chef Hatchet)

(Cue montage)

(It shows Chowder hiding in the lake, but Chef blows him down lower in the water)

(It shows Peter hiding in a dumpster. Chef finds Peter and blows him out of the dumpster)

(It shows Gwen hiding under the grass. Chef Hatchet steps on her and blasts her out of her hiding spot)

(It shows Duncan hiding in a cave, but Chef Hatchet grabs him and drags him out)

(End montage)

(All but Izzy and Trent are with Chef Hatchet. Chef Hatchet kicks a tree, and Trent falls from the top and breaks his back. Chef Hatchet splashes him with water)

Harold: Hey, wait! Where is Izzy?

Chef: Izzy? But I searched everywhere! The lifeguard chair! (The 15 campers that are out and Chef Hatchet, who is readying his Nerf water gun, make it to the lifeguard chair, but see Izzy on it)

Izzy: Too late, Cheffy! (Chris walks over to the lifeguard chair) That settles it! Izzy is the winner of the challenge and had just won some invincibility!!!!!!

Izzy: Woo!

(We cut to the confessionals)

LeShawna: Looks like Trent is going down… again!

Owen: (in an emotionless tone due to the tranquilizer's effects) Trent.

Duncan: You got messed up, dude.

Courtney: You leave us no choice.

Gwen: Poor Trent! Well, I guess he could feel much better at home, so I'm voting for him.

Trent: I really feel I made such awesome friends here. It's so hard for me to vote anyone off, but I know one thing, Duncan is a jackass!

Harold: Bye, Duncan!

Peter: I will vote for Trent.

Chowder: (Is eating the toilet seat and is not noticing the camera)

Truffles: Duncan needs to go! So goodbye!

Bender: Trent should go!

Justin: Yep, Trent needs to go!

Lindsay: I want Trent to go, I guess.

Izzy: Oh, Trent needs to go.

Candace: Duncan!

Phineas: Oh, Duncan has to go home! I agreed with Harold, Candace, Trent and Truffles so yep.

(End confessionals)

Votes:

Duncan: Trent.

Courtney: Trent.

Harold: Duncan.

Peter: Trent.

Chowder: Unable to vote because he didn't notice the camera, but Chris will count it as Trent.

Truffles: Duncan.

Bender: Trent.

Owen: Trent.

Gwen: Trent.

Leshawna: Trent.

Justin: Trent.

Lindsay: Trent.

Izzy: Trent.

Trent: Duncan.

Candace: Duncan.

Phineas: Duncan.

Trent: 11.

Duncan: 5.

The loser: Trent.

(The bonfire ceremony)

Chris: Campers, I have 15 marshmallows on my plate, and one of you will not get it and go home forever! Izzy. Lindsay. Leshawna. Gwen. Owen. Justin. Candace. Phineas. Bender. Harold. Courtney. Truffles. Chowder. Peter. Okay, one marshmallow is left on the plate, and Duncan or Trent will go home forever! The final marshmallow goes to…… Duncan. Trent, you have an appointment at the Dock of Shame, and a ticket for the Boat of Losers! Let's go.

Trent: (sad) Okay. (Walks down the dreaded Dock of Shame, gets on the Boat of Losers and leaves Total Cartoon Island Return forever)

(End)


	15. Basic Straining

TCIR EP15: Basic Straining

**Now that there are 15 campers left, Chris and Chef Hatchet have a surprise for them: A boot camp challenge! And Chef Hatchet AKA Master Chief Hatchet is leading the challenge! The campers must lift canoes and stay there for a very, very long time, eat a pound of garbage and hang on a tree until one is left hanging around and retrieving his or her invincibility! Then, two campers that have been low in the challenges will have to walk down the dreaded dock of shame, catch the extra crusty, dirty and weird boat of losers and leave Total Cartoon Island Return! And they can never come back ever! Find out what else that is dramatic happens and which two campers will go back home tonight on Total Cartoon Island Return!**

_Italic: This font is used for confessional and cutaway font._

**Bold: This font is used for the summary of the episode, the theme song (And other songs) and disclaimer font.**

Normal: This font is used for the normal script and recap font.

Underlined: This font is never used yet, I guess.

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

(Cue Recap)

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the 16 campers went to a deadly hide or seek challenge with Chef Hatchet! And he was it! It was splashing, action, humor, tears and drama put into a big blender and blended up into an epicness smoothie! Although this was the most greatest epic-fest this host had ever seen, Trent got a broken back and was forced into sudden elimination! In the end, Chef Hatchet never caught Izzy, the wackjob and let Izzy sit in the throne of victory to win her invincibility! Chef also rusted the crap outta Bender and got him stuck in a chlorine trap! And finally, this challenge got us up into number 1 planet ratings! Which 2 campers will be eliminated from the competition and will be sent home forever?! Let's see what's in store right now on Total… Cartoon… Island… Return!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End theme song, and on with the show!)

(We cut to 9:00 AM. All 15 remaining campers are sleeping. The loudspeaker squeals)

Chef: (Over the loudspeaker)_ Listen up, you little cockroaches! I want all campers to report to the Dock of Shame at 09:00 hours! (A brief pause) That means now, soldiers, __**NOW**__! _(Every camper wakes up in grief and run out of their cabins)

(We cut to the dock of shame. All 15 campers are lined up in a horizontal line with Chef Hatchet, in a marine's outfit, pacing next to them)

Chef: You all are just lazy! Legs together! (Smacks Peter's legs with a stick. Peter puts his legs together) Arms straight! (Smacks Duncan's arms with his stick so they could go down) Eyes forward! (Bender looks straight) Head up! (Moves Candace's head up, then smacks Harold 4 times with his stick)

Harold: **OW**! What the hell?!

Chef: **SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!! **(Quickly throws Harold into the lake in a epic fashion. Harold gets back on the dock saddened)

Harold: I want to go home!

Chef: Now, you are here because Chris got me a chance to do _my_ challenge! And I hate you all and cook food so gross, it could kill you in hours! And here's how it works: You must compete in training missions and try and make it out alive! The person who rings the bell at the end of the dock during any mission will be eliminated from only the challenge! Nothing else! Now, rule number 1, you have to address me only as Master Chief Hatchet! Has anyone got that?!

All: (All scared but Duncan) **YES, MASTER CHIEF!!!!!! **

Chef: Rule number 2, I'd like to see one person leave the challenge before curfew! (Yells at Harold) Have you got that?!

Harold: Yes, Master Chief!! (Chef Hatchet just kicks Harold straight in the nuts) Ow!

Chef: And rule number 3, the last rule, is try and get to the last training in the challenge! The last person standing will win immunity for the rest of the day! Now, move, you maggots! **MOVE!!!** (Everybody runs down the dock screaming)

_(Cue Gwen's confessional)_

_Gwen: Okay. Whoever's sick, twisted, completely horrifying idea this was to put (referring to Chef) him in charge of this challenge, I have to say... I'm a little bit impressed._

_(End Gwen's confessional)_

(We cut to the beachside of the island at 11:28. There are canoes stacked up and the are next to the campers. Chef and Chris are there as well)

Chef: Alright, you maggots! All you have to do are lift these canoes up until someone rings the bell at the dock and be eliminated from the challenge! The elimination part also counts if you take your hands off the canoes and I catch you! Canoes up! (Everybody at once lift the stack of canoes)

Owen: Pft! This isn't that hard!

(5:45 PM. All people are still holding the canoes)

Chef: Keep it up! I need to see strength here! (Chris and Chef are sitting on the stack of canoes. Owen's stomach rumbles)

Chris: Looks like they missed lunch today!

Chef: They just weren't hungry anymore!

Chris: I got ya, bro! (They both chuckle)

(9:00 PM. Everybody is tired and hungry and also still holding the canoes. Owen's stomach rumbles again, and Owen farts. He blushes in embarrassment)

Gwen: Don't even think about it, Owen!

Lindsay: (Takes her hands off the canoes) Guys, I can't do this anymore! I have no more feeling in my arms!

Chef: Looks like we got a quitter!

Owen: Don't do it, Lindsay! (Lindsay makes it to the bell and hits it with her head, thus ringing it. The campers drop the canoes)

Chef: (to Lindsay) Listen here, you have nothing, and I mean nothing, to be ashamed of... (yells into megaphone) Except being a little crybaby who let your team down!! (Lindsay's hair puffs up and turns into an afro) See what I mean?! You are out! (Lindsay walks away from the campers)

_(Cue Lindsay's confessional - My hair!)_

_Lindsay: (About her hair) Oh, no! My hair is messed up now! Now I'm like Lefawndah! How much worse could it get?!_

_(End Lindsay's confessional)_

(We cut to 4:10 AM in the mess hall. Every camper is in there, tired and hungry. Master Chief Hatchet and Chris are standing next to garbage cans)

Chef: Maggots, you only got ten minutes to eat food until night training begins!

Harold: Night training?!

Owen: No way!!

Harold: (Shaking his head) No way! (Master Chief Hatchet just kicks Harold in the groin again. Harold runs off and rings the bell on the end of the dock) I quit!

Phineas: Uh, Master Chief Hatchet, where's the food?

Chef: You are looking at it! (Points at the garbage cans. Owen opens up one)

Owen: These are just leftovers from morning's breakfast!

Chef: (Angrily) I know! (Owen eats some garbage)

Chris: Wow. I can see this is all settled. I'm off to craft services! You in?

Chef: Alright then. (They both walk out of the mess hall through the back door)

(Duncan, Bender and Chowder walk up to Harold with a cup of some liquid)

Duncan: Hey, Harold. We felt really bad about the whole rivalry.

So, here, we found you some apple juice.

Harold: Thanks. (he drinks it and then spits it out) That's not juice!

Duncan: Oh, my mistake, dude! We must've confused it with the kitchen grease! (The 3 laugh)

Courtney: You guys are so immature. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

(4:12 AM. Chowder, Owen and Peter are gobbling down the garbage while the other campers are starting to puke all over the place. However, Bender is gone. We cut to later in the craft services tent. Bender is painted black and sneaks past Chris and Chef)

Chef: Twenty-five of us went into the woods that night. But only five came back out.

Chris: I mean, come on! I am nothing without my stubble! (Bender is already at the fridge and takes every food in it. We cut to outside the craft services tent. Bender is running away with all the food in his chest cabinet, making him slightly fattened and pooping bricks in every step he takes. We cut to the guys cabin. All guys are eating Chef and Chris's food. Bender has finished telling his story about how he got the food)

Bender: And that's how I got the food just for us!

Peter: Wow! What an awesome story, Bender!

(The girls cabin. Gwen and Courtney are eating ice cream sandwiches. Courtney tries to get one, but Gwen stops her)

Gwen: Okay, I think you've had enough.

Courtney: No, no, just one more! (shoves another ice cream sandwich in her mouth, burps, and gets a little queasy) Okay, yeah... yeah, that one was a mistake... (she runs off and pukes. Duncan walks up to her)

Duncan: So, the Princess _still_ has a dark side.

Courtney: Okay... that was so gross. But it was, like... once I did something bad, it was so much fun, I just wanted more!

Duncan: Well, you could always give me another kiss on the lips. That'd be pretty bad.

Courtney: (ruffles his hair) You're still not my type.

Duncan: Fine. Enjoy a peanut butter-less life.

Courtney: Thanks. Enjoy prison.

Duncan: I will.

(they kiss for 7 seconds)

Chef: (Over loudspeaker) _Attention remaining boot-camper groups: the next evolution of your training begins tomorrow morning at 07:00 hours. And if I catch the sucker that took my dessert, your butt is mine!_

(We cut to 7:00 AM. Owen, Gwen, Peter, Courtney, Duncan and Bender are remaining and hanging upside down on tree branches. Duncan starts becoming disoriented and falls off the tree. Then, 4 out of the 5 remaining grab their knees. While Owen tries getting to his knees, he starts farting loudly)

Bender: Ew! (Drops out. Owen lands on him and he runs away from Owen. Courtney starts giggling and falls off)

Chef: I hope you're ashamed of yourself!

Courtney: Master Chief? I have just have one thing to say to you.

Chef: And what might that be?

Courtney: You really need to take a chill pill. (Chef steams as she laughs)

Peter: (Yawns. Then falls off the tree sleeping. Then, it shows everybody lifting Gwen up and running with her)

Chef: Gwen! I would go to war with you any day.

Gwen: (nervously) I'll keep that in mind when choosing my career...

Chef: You do that, soldier. (gets teary-eyed) You do that.

Votes:

Duncan: Lindsay.

Courtney: Lindsay 2 times and Harold.

Harold: Duncan and himself.

Peter: Lindsay 2 times and Bender.

Chowder: Truffles.

Truffles: Chowder.

Bender: Harold and Duncan.

Owen: Lindsay.

Gwen: Lindsay 2 times and Bender 3 times.

Justin: Lindsay and Chowder.

Leshawna: Lindsay.

Izzy: Lindsay and Bender 2 times.

Candace: Chowder and Truffles.

Phineas: Lindsay, Duncan and Bender.

Number of votes per camper:

Lindsay: 12.

Bender: 7.

Duncan: 3.

Chowder: 3.

Harold: 3.

Truffles: 2.

Losers: Lindsay and Bender.

(Bonfire ceremony. We are down to the bottom 3, Chowder, Lindsay and Bender)

Chris: Now, there is only one marshmallow and 2 of you will leave this camp forever! The final marshmallow goes to… (dramatic music) Chowder.

Lindsay: What?!

Bender: What the hell!

Chris: Oh, Chef! (Chef throws Bender onto the boat of losers and drags Lindsay to the boat of losers. They both leave Total Cartoon Island Return forever)

(End episode)


	16. The Sky's the Limit

TCIR EP16: The Sky's the Limit

**Now that the two now-losers, Lindsay, the blonde dimwit who cussed a lot at Heather once on the stale and completed Total Drama Island series season 1 in the episode she was voted off in and became best friends with Beth, who used to have braces, is now dating Justin, the most beautiful and was voted off in the mountain episode of this show and Bender Rodriguez, the alcholic, foul-mouthed bending unit who had met Philip J. Fry in the pilot episode of Futurama are not participating in Total Cartoon Island Return anymore, it's time to head to the bright blue skies for a completely dramatic disaster-themed airplane challenge that Chris Maclean whipped up for his victim—er… campers! When the junky, crappy, stinky, shitty, lousy, garbage-covered, as used as a action figure, weird, gooey, insect-infested and disgusting yellow airplane bursts into large flames, the thirteen remaining campers, Chris and Chef Hatchet have only one option: Jump out of the flaming airplane and actually survive without using any kind of parachute or anything like that at all and land on a gigantic pillow that Chris had placed! Will any of the campers, Chris Maclean or Chef Hatchet ever fall to his or her doom falling out of the fire-covered airplane in time to survive?! Find out in today's epic episode of epic features of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!!!**

_Italic: This font is used for confessional and cutaway font._

**Bold: This font is used for the summary of the episode, the theme song (And other songs) and disclaimer font.**

Normal: This font is used for the normal script and recap font.

Underlined: This font is never used yet, I guess.

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains extreme stunts perform by cartoons from shows. This show does not own the cartoon characters. Do not attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

(Cue Recap)

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, the 15 campers participated in a boot camp challenge hosted by Master Chief Chef Hatchet, which was very hard! Harold was bossed around by Chef Hatchet too much and was thrown into the lake for a punishment!

(Flashback)

Chef: **SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!! **(Quickly throws Harold into the lake in a epic fashion. Harold gets back on the dock saddened)

Harold: I want to go home!!

(End Flashback)

Chris: Then, the first challenge was to lift canoes for a very, very long time! Lindsay quit the challenge! Then, they had to eat garbage like it was good-looking food, which there, Duncan gave Harold kitchen grease and said it was apple juice, forcing Harold to ring the bell and leave the challenge unscathed! Then, Bender sneaked right past me and Master Chief Hatchet and took all the tasty, scrumptious food in the entire fridge, plus the fridge the food was in! Duncan and Courtney kissed for about the second time in a boot camp challenge right after that, and then 6 very lucky people were hanging around! Get it?! No? Well, Gwen won the second boot camp challenge, starting on the boot camp challenge in my old show, _Total Drama Island_ and was rewarded with glory, respect and invincibility! Then, Lindsay, the foul-mouthed idiot was voted off for quitting in the first part of the boot camp challenge, thus with Bender, who stole the food and had to pay the price for it, joining her! So today, we are going sky-high for a brand new epic disaster-themed challenge created by the very suave yet very smart Total Cartoon Island series producers and the director LordryuTJ, who had founded the Total Cartoon Island! I'm your host, Chris Maclean, dropping yet another very, very, _very_ epic episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End theme song, and on with the freakin' show!)

(The final 13 campers are standing by the cabins waiting for Chris to tell them about today's challenge. Instead, a short yellow airplane with red stripes park next to the marshmallow storage room)

Gwen: Okay, if the plane is part of the challenge, I am so gonna kill Chris.

Owen: I think it _is_ part of the challenge!

(Chris comes out of the airplane. Chef Hatchet is sitting in the cockpit on the pilot's seat wearing a pilot's clothes, meaning that Chef is piloting the airplane)

Chris: Remember this as a hint to today's challenge!

Duncan: Is it based on the stupid comedy airplane movie, _Flying Weirdo Airplane_?

Chris: Close, but no. It's based on the disaster movie, _Fire Plane_! Remember? An airplane bursts into flames and traps the passengers in an airplane of death, but they jump out and land on a gigantic pillow that was put on a mattress with no parachute or anything like that! They all survived, though!

Leshawna: Look, I'm sorry to say this, but I am _not_ getting on that plane!

Chris: Not even for a check for two billion dollars?

Leshawna: Ugh! Better be carpeted in there!

_(Cue Owen's confessional)_

_Owen: Okay, so it's a disaster-themed movie! How hard could it get?_

_(End Owen's confessional)_

(We cut to inside the airplane, which is carpeted and has dust bunnies and garbage on the floor. The campers are in it, waiting for the airplane to take off. There are 3 couches in the airplane, put into straight rows of 5 people per couch. A beaver walks up to Peter and bites him)

Peter: Ouch! Get away, you damn dirty beaver! (Throws the beaver out of the air plane through the open door. The door closes and the jet engines of the airplane turn on and take the airplane into the bright blue sky. Chris is piloting the airplane with Chef co-piloting)

Chris: (Through the microphone) We are now soaring up into the sky, campers, and remember to buckle up! (Owen buckles his seat belt on the couch in the last row. Chris looks back at the campers) And the first person to land on the gigantic pillow me and Chef placed on the dock of shame will win invincibility! And then two people will be voted off Total Cartoon Island Return in the most dreaded bonfire ceremony of the century!

Gwen: (Sarcastically) Oh, this is going to be great!

Chris: I know! Ha-ha-ha!

(5 minutes later, Chris lights a fire on the carpeted floor)

Chris: And the fire had just started, campers! Everybody proceed in screaming like you're going to die!!

Owen: Aah! The fire! (Everybody looks at him) But no big deal! It's just a little fire! (The fire grows bigger) Okay, it's a big fire, but there's no reason to…

Peter: Everybody start screaming out loud now! (Everybody screams but Owen)

Owen: Okay then. I'll join in! (Screams with the rest of the people. Chris blows a whistle to shut them all up)

Chris: Everybody! This is the time where we jump onto the pillow and survive the crash! Everybody go! (Opens the emergency door)

Candace: Are you sure this is safe?!

Chris: What's the worst that can happen?!

Owen: We die?!

Chris: Yeah! I know! Hilarious! (Laughs)

Harold: Okay, there's no way that I am going out that airplan—(Gets pushed out of the airplane) OMG!!!!!!!! (His voice trails off as he free-falls. He safely lands on the pillow)

Leshawna: I'm coming, Harold! Pejeinga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She lands on the pillow, and unexpectedly, on Harold)

Harold: I think you broke my coccyx!

Leshawna: Ooh! Sorry about that!

(Back on the airplane. Izzy is in Owen's arms)

Owen: (To Izzy) Izzy, if we _do_ land on that giant pillow, will you and I go out for pizza?

Izzy: Sure! (She gets off of Owen and runs to the emergency door) Tell my pet rock I love her! (She jumps out of the airplane and lands on the pillow safe. Owen goes after her and jumps off the airplane as well, causing the plane to tip over and send the 9 other campers out of the airplane, all landing on the pillow and breaking it. The airplane lands on the island all messed up)

Chris: Aw, crap! That airplane was $90! Now it is worthless! But you all managed to jump out and Harold had just landed on the pillow first and won invincibility!

Harold: Yes!

**Who voted for who to go:**

**Duncan: Leshawna.**

**Courtney: Leshawna.**

**Harold: Duncan X4.**

**Peter: Truffles and Leshawna.**

**Chowder: Truffles.**

**Truffles: Leshawna and Chowder X2.**

**Owen: Truffles.**

**Gwen: Truffles.**

**Justin: Leshawna, Candace X4, Phineas, Chowder, Izzy and Truffles.**

**Leshawna: Truffles and Justin X3.**

**Izzy: Truffles, Candace X2 and Justin X2.**

**Candace: Leshawna X2 and Truffles.**

**Phineas: Truffles X2, Peter X2, Owen and Leshawna X3.**

**Truffles: 10.**

**Leshawna: 10.**

**Candace: 6.**

**Duncan: 4.**

**Justin: 5.**

**Chowder: 3.**

**Peter: 2.**

**Phineas: 1.**

**Owen: 1.**

**Izzy: 1.**

**Losers: Truffles and Leshawna.**

**Bottom 3 (Got the final marshmallow): Candace.**

**Bottom 4: Justin.**

**Bottom 5: Duncan.**

**Bottom 6: Chowder.**

**Bottom 7: Peter.**

**Bottom 8: Phineas.**

**Bottom 9: Owen.**

**Bottom 10: Izzy.**

(Bonfire ceremony. Truffles, Leshawna and Candace don't have marshmallows)

Chris: Okay, two of you will not get this marshmallow and have to leave Total Cartoon Island Return forever! (Dramatic music) The final marshmallow… (More dramatic music) goes to… (Even a lot more dramatic music) Candace.

Candace: Really?! Oh my gosh! (Gets her marshmallow) Woo!

Leshawna: Wait, I'm voted off?!

Truffles: This is so unfair! I should have gotten the marshmallow!

Leshawna: Yeah! Candace was voted to be kicked off 6 times!

Chris: Life is unfair and get used to it! And it says so in the rules that you can never ever come back to the summer camp ever! Chef! (Chef comes out of nowhere and he drags Leshawna and Truffles into the Boat of Losers. And the boat of losers leaves)

Harold: Aw, man! This sucks!

Chris: (To Harold) Sorry that you and Leshawna are separated for the rest of the competition, dude! (To the readers) And you, the viewers, see you next time in the most greatest episode of Total Cartoon Island Return ever! Maclean out!

(End)


	17. Brunch of Disgustingness

TCIR EP17: Brunch of Disgustingness

This is going to be awesome!

**Now, since Leshawna and Truffles had just left Total Cartoon Island Return for the rest of the competition, the final 11 campers are going to participate in the very infamous TDI challenge, Brunch of Disgustingness, thanks to the sinister yet smart producers of the show, like me, LordryuTJ, the founder of the Total Cartoon Island series! Then, three very unlucky people will go home all at once for doing bad or puking in the most dis-gross-ting challenge and a special surprise guest comes to the competition some time **_**before**_** the challenge! I'll give you a hint: He has yellow skin, and it's not Homer Simpson from a couple of the epic previous seasons or Bart Simpson, who has not even participated in the Total Cartoon Island series yet until a future season! He's square. Find out what yellow-skinned kid that's not Homer or Bart will come to the competition and which three will go back home and leave Total Cartoon Island Return for until the very epic Total Cartoon Island Return season finale on this very, very, very, **_**very**_** epic episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!!**

_Italic: This font is used for the confessional cam and Family Guy-esque cutaway font._

**Bold: This font is used for the short summary of the episode, the Total Cartoon Island Return theme song (And some of the other songs that appear in Total Cartoon Island Return as well) and disclaimer font.**

Normal: This font is used for the normal transcripts, sentence in the beginning and the recap's font.

Underlined: This font is somewhat never even used yet, I guess.

(Cue Disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains some very extreme stunts performed by some fictitious characters from cartoon shows, anime and other shows that you might be watching on TV right now. This show does not own any of the cartoon characters except the show containing the characters seen. Also, do not even attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

(Cue Recap)

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, I brought my airplane to the island and gave the 13 campers a ride of a lifetime that put their skills to the survival test!! Then I gave them all a really good and crazy scare when I light a fire in the airplane, which was the epic part of this disaster-filled challenge. Then we got to the good part: Jumping out of the airplane unscathed, parachute-less and securely safe when we all landed on a giant pillow that me and the producers bought and placed onto the Dock of Shame! Everybody hoped they would get a chance at winning a couple billion bucks, but the competition is not over yet until the final episode! Who will be closer to winning the large grand prize check made, checked and then signed by the producers? Oh, yeah! Did I mention that somebody who had not got a chance in this epic drama season will come into the competition unexpectedly! I'm your very glorious yet very famous host, Chris Maclean, dropping off a really big, really epic, really extreme and awesome-rific drama-filled episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End theme song, and on with the freakin' show!)

(8:10 AM. We cut to inside the guys cabin. Peter, Owen (Sleeping), Duncan and Justin (Sleeping) are in there. Peter is eating a sloppy joe for breakfast, but thinks he's missing something. He then grabs some ketchup and puts it on the sloppy joe. Duncan, laying on his bed, gets disgusted by what Peter just did)

Duncan: Ew! Gross, man!

Peter: But I was missing a topping on my sloppy joe! (Licks the ketchup off his lips) Needs some more mustard. (Reaches for the mustard, but Duncan throws it out the window)

Duncan: You know what, you're disgusting, Peter! (Owen wakes up)

Owen: (Yawns) What's all the yelling about?

Peter: Duncan "McBossy" just threw the mustard out the window! (Harold comes into the guys cabin)

Harold: What the hell's going on here? (Peter's sloppy joe lands on his face) And why did a sloppy joe land on my face? (Peter and Duncan start talking indescribably)

Peter: He! He threw my mustard out the window then did the same thing with my sloppy j… oh, forget it.

Duncan: Never mind about that, dude. (Peter and Duncan shake hands) Sorry.

Peter: Sorry. (Chris, looking sadistic, comes into the cabin)

Chris: Hey, guys! Ready for a little good news?

Peter: Sure!

Duncan: No!

Owen: Okay.

Chris: Good! Cause today, there will be another person coming into this season!

Peter: Then who is it?!

Chris: Well, according to the ratings from Total Cartoon Action and Extreme, Spongebob got high ratings for the show because of his skills, so… here he is! (The boat of losers comes back to the dock of shame and drops off Spongebob)

Spongebob: Hey, guys! (Trips on a shoelace, then bounces around the island grunting every time he hits the ground or something like that. Then he lands in the guys cabin, breaking through the roof)

Chris: Well, it seems we need to get him to the medical tent first… (Snickers) or not!

_(Cue Spongebob's confessional)_

_Spongebob: It's so great to be back! I hope I make it to the final 5, 3 or 2!_

_(End Spongebob's confessional)_

(1:00 PM. All the campers, and Chris (Standing next to Chef Hatchet) are in the mess hall, eating some burnt steak instead of the slop from other times. Peter has 20 steaks on his plate in a stack besides everybody else's 1 steak, while Owen has _10_ steaks, due to a steak shortage)

Peter: (About Owen's stack of steaks) Are you on a diet?

Owen: Not really. There was a steak shortage, so I couldn't get 50. You gonna eat any of your steaks?

Peter: You can have 10 of mine. (Gives Owen 10 of his steaks)

Owen: Thanks!

Chowder: Good thing we're not eating slop again.

Chris: Well, not exactly!

Justin: Excuse me?

Chris: Today's challenge is…. The Brunch of Disgustingness!!! (Owen and Duncan gasp)

Courtney: (Confused) The what of what-ty what? What does that challenge even mean?

Duncan: Don't worry! I've done this before on Total Drama Island! Remember?

Chris: Oh, right! Some of you have not known of this yet! The Brunch of Disgustingness is where you eat gross food made by Chef Hatchet that's even more grosser than the gruel made from paste!

(Chowder waves his spoon, which is stuck to some old gruel in a bowl like paste, which is what is a ingredient in the gross gruel)

Chowder: Oh. That's what's in this! Weird.

Gwen: (To Chowder) You know, I've tried that before. It is not good!

Courtney: (Disgusted) Okay, that's too gross to start with!

Chris: It's supposed to be too gross to start with because that's what puts Disgustingness in the Brunch of Disgustingness! (Chuckles a bit) Duh! And, the person who eats the last course first will win invincibility. Then, two—no, wait, _three_ very unlucky campers will be sent back home, never to return to Camp Wawanakwa ever! (All the campers gasp) Yep, you heard me! I said three campers! Must be Wednesday We're nearing the end, people, so look alive!

_(Cue Gwen's confessional)_

_Gwen: I can't believe we have to go through tons and tons of garbage… again! This is just like being in a thriller, but with garbage instead of blood!!!_

_(End Gwen's confessional)_

_(Cue Owen's confessional)_

_Owen: Look, I'm an experienced slop-eater! I could eat my underwear if I could, but I am not supposed to! Just look at this underwear! (Holds up some stinky underwear) Look at it!_

_(End Owen's confessional)_

_(Cue Peter's confessional)_

_Peter: Eh, eating gross food that might send me to the hospital might not be that bad. I've tried eating towels before, but I puked. So, uh…… I can do this, man!_

_(End Peter's confessional)_

_(Cue Chowder's confessional)_

_Chowder: (Yelling) FOOD!!! (Stops yelling) Although, garbage would be sorta gross to me, you know? I wish Mung was here._

_(End Chowder's confessional)_

_(Cue Harold's confessional)_

_Harold: The Brunch of Disgustingness? Isn't Chris trying not to kill us?! GOSH!_

_(End Harold's confessional)_

_(Cue Chris's confessional)_

_Chris: (Holding up a contract; about Harold's comment) That's what contracts are for, correctamundo?_

_(End Chris's confessional)_

(End confessional clips. Chef places a plate of beef testicles on every table)

Chris: And here's the first course!

Chowder: Wow! Meatballs! (Gobbles down the beef testicles)

Chris: Actually, you're right, Chowder, but these are somewhat special.

Chef: (Holding a testicle) It's beef testicles! (Cut to a buffalo somewhere, shivering. We cut back to the mess hall)

Chowder: Buffalo testicles? (Spits out the balls, splattering all over Peter)

Peter: Ew! (Owen drools over the table and then the drool lands on the plate of beef balls, soaking into it)

Chris: It's the hardest thing a man can do. (Chowder then gobbles down every plate of beef testicles)

Owen: Hey! We were going to eat that!

Duncan: Thanks a lot, beef for brains!

Chowder: What? I was hungry!

Chris: And Chowder just ate every plate of the first course! Literally!

Peter: Boy, I hope what's the second course is good.

Chris: Oh, really? Well here's a question! You guys like pizza?

Owen: I could eat lots and lots and lots pizza anytime! With any kind of topping on it!

Chris: _Aaaanything_?

Owen: Yeah! Once, I ate pizza with mustard on it! It was so tasty and tangy!

Chris: So how about live grasshopper pizza with a dab of tangy yet shocky jellyfish sauce and live edible anchovies? (Reveals that the second course is what Chris just said right)

Candace: Ew! I hate anchovies! (Owen shrugs)

Owen: Eh, works for me!

Chris: Okay then. (Chef places a plate of live grasshopper pizza on both tables)

Spongebob: Ew! (A grasshopper hops off the pizza) Blegh! Can't we just eat normal pizza?

Chris: Let me check! Oh, no, I can't.

Duncan: Oh, great!

Phineas: (His stomach gurgles) Uh, I've got a weak stomach. Hold on one second. (Phineas runs out of the mess hall, runs over to a tree and barfs in it)

_(Cue Phineas's confessional)_

_Phineas: It wasn't really that bad. I was playing it up for the cameras. You know, to boost ratings. I really don't mind beef testicles, or live grasshopper pizza's with jellyfish…oh… (He barfs into the camera, forcing it to cut to static)_

_(End Phineas's confessional)_

(We cut back to the mess hall, where everybody is attempting to eat the pizza)

Owen: (Drools, then eats his pizza, then every other slice in the plate on his table)

Chris: (Chuckles) Looks like Owen won this one! (Owen cheers)

Duncan: (Groans)

Chris: Time for the next courses! Bon appetit!

(Cue montage)

(It shows Chef placing a ball of ABC (Already Been Chewed) gum next to Gwen, then it shows Chef squirt skunk stink into a shake bottle, shake it and place it next to Candace. Candace takes a sip and then gets disgusted. Then it shows Chef put silicone on a sandal, then Chowder starts nibbling on it. Next, Chef is making soup. Owen rubs his palm together, but the soup has banana peels, soda cans and live fish in it, making everybody make worried. The montage ends, and everybody doesn't feel so good)

Chris: Alright, now for the 9th and final course, an eat-off! Owen, you and Candace will have to drink blended cockroach drinks, which are very healthy!

Candace: You call this healthy?

Chris: Yes! And… drink! (Owen starts drinking every glass of blended cockroach juice, finishes in half a minute, and falls over on the ground) And Owen wins the challenge and also gains his invincibility!!! (Candace starts barfing. Duncan sees a undigested cockroach and barfs along with Courtney, Spongebob and Peter) Whoa! That's too much barfing, people! (Gulps, then barfs on the camera)

**Who voted for who:**

**Duncan: Candace and Justin.**

**Courtney: Spongebob and Harold.**

**Harold: Justin, Duncan and Spongebob.**

**Peter: Candace, Duncan and Justin.**

**Chowder: Candace, Spongebob and Justin.**

**Owen: Duncan.**

**Gwen: Candace and Justin.**

**Justin: Candace and Spongebob.**

**Izzy: Justin and Candace.**

**Candace: Justin and Spongebob.**

**Phineas: Justin and Spongebob.**

**Spongebob: Justin, Candace and Duncan.**

**Amount of votes:**

**Candace: 7.**

**Duncan: 4.**

**Justin: 9.**

**Spongebob: 6.**

**Harold: 1.**

**The 3 Losers: Spongebob, Justin and Candace.**

**Bottom 4 (And also gets the final marshmallow): Duncan.**

**Bottom 5: Harold.**

(The bonfire ceremony)

Chris: And now for the very epic bonfire ceremony! Remember, the three people who don't get the final marshmallow will all go down the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, leave and lose a chance at winning two billion big ones! And you can't ever come back… EV-AH!!!! Oh, did I mention "Home" was Playa De Losers? No? Okay then. Let's see… (A marshmallow is given to whoever Chris calls up) Peter. Owen. Phineas. Gwen. Izzy. Chowder. Courtney. Harold! (Dramatic music) Okay, you four are left and three will leave Camp Wawanakwa forever! (More dramatic music) The final marshmallow… (Even more dramatic music) goes to… (Yet even more dramatic music) Duncan. (Courtney sighs. Duncan goes to get his marshmallow, comes back and makes out with Courtney)

Candace: Wait, I'm eliminated?!

Spongebob: But I just got here!

Chris: I know, but when you bounced all around, it pissed off Harold and Courtney!

Spongebob: Aw, barnacles!

Justin: But aren't I a guy with good looks?

Owen: Sorry, but my alliance had spoken!

Justin: Well, where are your alliance members?

Duncan: Well, I'm in it!

Justin: Well, I guess me, Candace and Spongebob will go! Come on, guys and girls!

(Candace, Spongebob and Justin reach it to the boat of losers, but Phineas comes up to Candace)

Phineas: Have a nice trip to Playa De Losers! Say hi to Ferb for me!

Spongebob: Well, it's time to go to Playa De Losers for me!

Chris: Well, that sudden 3-man elimination just wrapped up another Total Cartoon Island Return episode! See ya next time, kiddies! Same Chris time, same Chris channel!

(End episode 17)


	18. I Ninetuple Dog Dare You!

TCIR EP18: I Nine-Tuple Dino Dare You (A parody of the TDI final 3 episode's title, I Triple Dog Dare You, and all the challenges based on this, like Total Cartoon Action's Dare on the Set challenges. Also, there will not be a Haute Camp-ture-ish episode where the losers are visited by Chris11)

(Cue the first disclaimer)

**I do not own any of the competitors used in the Total Cartoon Island series and I also do not own Total Drama Island at all! Total Drama Island is produced by Fresh TV, Cartoon Network, Cake Productions and Teletoon. All the characters belong to their rightful owners, like C. H. Greenblat, the maker of Chowder and Spongebob Squarepants and the voice of Fred Fredburger in The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, the maker of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack and also the awesome makers of Family Guy and American Dad. Enjoy the pretty awesome show!**

**Last time inside of the seventeenth episode of Total Cartoon Island Return, Justin, the hunk, Candace, the loud-mouth, and Spongebob, the super-absorbent sponge of competition (Who had already just returned the weird morning before the mildly crazy and deadly challenge) were voted off unexpectedly and very dramatically after a really gross puking marathon in the completely infamous, gross-tastic, epic and dramatic challenge called The Brunch of Disgustingness! Now, the campers have a one time chance to play the extremely infamous challenge known as I Triple Dog Dare You, which is to do minorly deadly dares which are the challenges requested by the losers of Total Cartoon Island Return!! Someone will possibly get injured badly as well to add some more Total Drama! Then, two very unlucky people will be kicked straight off Total Cartoon Island Return into the Boat of Losers for good! And, I think, a person from the past challenges will come to the island to participate once more, and I won't tell who until after the challenge ends and the two people leave Total Cartoon Island Return for the rest of the competition until the season finale! Good luck! Find out what dares/challenges will be happening in this epicly, dramatically brand spankin' (Pun totally not intended) new, totally smashing episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!!**

_Italic: This font is used for the confessional cam and Family Guy-esque cutaway font._

**Bold: This font is used for the very long summary of the episode, the Total Cartoon Island Return theme song (And some of the other songs that appear in Total Cartoon Island Return as well) and the disclaimer 1 and 2 font.**

Normal: This font is used for the normal transcripts, sentence in the beginning and the recap's font.

Underlined: This font is somewhat never even used yet, I guess.

(Cue the second awesome disclaimer)

**This episode of Total Cartoon Island Return contains some very extreme stunts performed by some fictitious characters from cartoon shows, anime and other shows that you might be watching on TV right now. This show does not own any of the cartoon characters except the show containing the characters seen. Also, do not even attempt to do any stunts you are about to see. Seriously, you might get really messed up!**

(Cue Recap)

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Island Return, Spongebob Squarepants from his show, came to the island as a brand new camper and surprised everybody with his bouncing sponge accident. Then, the Brunch of Disgustingness tested everybody's stomach to the puke test! Not only was this the most disgusting barf-fest this host has ever seen, Justin, Candace and Spongebob were unexpectedly kicked off Camp Wawanakwa for good! (Chuckles) Nicely played, you guys! Nicely played. Now, today, we're setting up yet another wild challenge! Who will be voted off in the most dramatic bonfire ceremony? Find out tonight on this totally wild episode of Total Cartoon Island Return!!!!

(The start of the theme song)

**Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...**

**You guys are on my mind...**

**You ask me what I wanted to be**

**And now I think the answer's plain to see...**

**I wanna be...FAMOUS...**

**I wanna live close to the sun...**

**Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...**

**Everything to prove, nothing in my way...**

**I'll get there one dayyy...**

**'Cause I wanna be famous!**

**Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...**

**Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be...**

**I wanna be famous!**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo doo...**

**Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...**

(End theme song, and we are now ready to go!)

(9:30: The guys cabin. Phineas is looking out the left window, sighing because his sister was gone for the rest of the competition. Peter walks up to him confused of why Phineas is looking out the window)

Peter: What's wrong?

Phineas: (Looking away from the window) Oh, nothing. I'm just sad that Candace left.

Peter: Well, can't you get another girlfriend, but aren't you a little too young to date and/or kiss someone?

Phineas: Why, yes. Yes, I am.

Peter: Well, it's very lucky for someone to do that! Look, Duncan loves Courtney and she doesn't love him as much as he does, Mung and Truffles are a married couple, Gwen and Trent love each other, Geoff and Bridgette love each other and make out a lot, Homer and Marge are also a married couple, but you're in love with Candace? What about that girl next door in Danville that loves _you_? Was her name Lizzie? Bianca?

Phineas: (Answering Peter's question) Isabella.

Peter: Yeah, her!

Phineas: We're just friends for now.

Peter: Well, I think I need to help you out. Hmm? You like that?

Phineas: Uh… not really.

_(Cue Phineas's confessional)_

_Phineas: (Sighs) I wish that weird goth girl (Gwen) was voted off instead of Candace! We kissed! Duh! We love each other now! Is there a problem with that?!_

_(End Phineas's confessional)_

(We cut back to the guys cabin. Peter and Phineas walk out of the cabin)

Peter: C'mon. Let's go for a walk.

Phineas: Okay.

(Then, Harold and Duncan come into the cabin)

Harold: So… have you and Courtney kissed again today, Duncan?

Duncan: Not when it's this early! Do you think I stalk her, dude?!

Harold: Well, what about your shrine all about Courtney in the closet?

Duncan: I don't have a shrine all about Court—(Harold quickly opens up the closet revealing a ton of portaits of Courtney, plus a giant stone replica of Courtney in the middle) Okay, I do.

Harold: Duh! She might think you're over-loving her!

Duncan: (Completely disagreeing with Harold's pointed-out answer to the Courtney shrine) Pft! Not a chance! I'll get her in here tonight and then we'll see what happens! (Walks out of the guys cabin) Later!

_(Cue Harold's confessional)_

_Harold: Sure, Courtney, Duncan and I are quite a trio, but me and Duncan don't get along that much… except for that time on Total Drama Action where me and Duncan were going to get out of our foxhole in that war movie challenge! And don't forget that Duncan did win Total Drama Action and beat me in the final challenge! (This might happen on Total Drama Action since it is not over)_

_(End Harold's confessional)_

(9:50: The Amphitheater. Chris had set up the amphitheater so it has the wheel with the heads of the losers on it and the tables. All 9 campers walk in and see how the amphitheater is set up. Chef Hatchet is also there, wearing a pink dress and feeling nothing at all. Chris has a sadistic look on his face, meaning a challenge is about to start)

Gwen: Oh no. Please tell me this isn't a challenge!

Chris: It _is_ a challenge! It's the infamous challenge, I Triple Dog Dare You! Starting… Bender, DJ, Geoff, Bridgette, Jen, Jonsey, Jude, Mung, Truffles, Panini, Schnitzel, Heather, Justin, Leshawna, Lindsay, Beth, Cody, Trent, Candace, Ferb and the newcomer and loser at the same time, Spongebob! Okay, most of you know the rules, all of you will do dares! The people who refuse to take the dare or lose at the dare will sit on the dock of shame until someone wins the challenge _and_ the person who gets the most freebies and beats everyone else _wins_ the challenge _and_ invincibility, plus a free-food ticket to B.F. Wangs **[1]**, which you can use when the competition is over! Then, at the wild bonfire ceremony, I'll pick off two more campers and replace them with a loser from the before time!

_(Cue Gwen's confessional)_

_Gwen: Haven't we been through enough?! (Hangs her head down) Oh, f*ck!_

_(End Gwen's confessional)_

_(Cue Owen's confessional)_

_Owen: I just hope I eat dog food again! Mmm… dog food._

_(End Owen's confessional)_

_(Cue Peter's confessional)_

_Peter: A ticket to get free food at B.F. Wangs? Awesome!_

_(End Peter's confessional)_

Chris: Gwen, you're up! (Gwen sadly walks to the wheel and spins the large freebie bottle. Then, the bottle lands on a icon of Spongebob) Spongebob's dare is… lick Owen's armpit! (Dramatic music plays as Gwen and Owen make scared faces) Gwen, you can do the dare yourself or pick someone else to do the dare for you! Either way, someone's licking some armpit in the next minute. (Pause) Remember, kiddies, the grand prize money is two billion bucks and you can earn it if you do it!

Gwen: (Sighs) Okay, I'll do the dare.

_(Cue Chris's confessional)_

_Chris: Okay, here's the deal: Chef and I made a bet to see someone barfing, and if somebody did, Chef has to give me a hundred bucks!_

_(End Chris's confessional)_

Chris: Alright then! (Owen raises his left arm, revealing a ton of armpit hair and a grotesque odor. Gwen walks over to him and sticks her tongue out, but her stomach starts rumbling. Gwen then licks Owen's armpit, then falls to the ground barfing out a little bit of blood, but mostly puke. Chris looks at Gwen) Whoa! That was awe-some! I nearly barfed! (Chef looks at Chris) Nearly. And my money? (Chef gives Chris a check for a hundred dollars, but Chris rips it up and gets angry) I meant cash, you stupid _f*ck_! (Chef sighs and then gives Chris a hundred bucks in cash) Thanks! (Chris puts the cash in his left shirt pocket and drops a freebie on Gwen) Here's your freebie! And now, Phineas, you're up! (Phineas walks over to the bottle and spins it, and it lands on Justin) Dress up like Chef!

Phineas: Uh, I think I'll… pass.

Chris: Alright then, but your butt might be thrown back home along with another person!

Phineas: Eh, I can deal with that.

_(Cue Phineas's confessional)_

_Phineas: As long as I see Candace and Ferb again. Man, I miss my best friends. Even Perry!_

_(End Phineas's confessional)_

Chris: Alright, that's one down. Peter, you're up! (Peter stands up, walks over to the bottle and spins it. It lands on Heather) Heather's dare is… survive getting kicked in the groin!

Peter: Huh?

Chris: (Sighs) Okay, I can see where this is going. (Kicks Peter in the groin, but Peter doesn't budge)

Peter: Nothing. I'm wearing a metal jock strap, so there's no crack in my groin!

Chris: Ugh! Fine! Here's your freebie! (Chris angrily throws it at Peter and hits him in the face, thus breaking the bottle and knocking out Peter. Chris looks both sides and takes Peter's metal jock strap)

(Cue montage)

(Izzy's turn: The bottle lands on Trent. The dare is to jump off the cliff from the first and second episodes of Total Cartoon Island Return. Izzy is next seen falling off the extremely high cliff laughing like a big, midget-y, retarded maniac, but she lands outside the safe zone and throws the sharks out of the water)

(Courtney's turn: The bottle lands on Justin. The dare is to beat yourself up, referencing Justin's love for his face and body. Courtney starts slapping herself until she becomes unconscious)

(Chowder's turn: The bottle lands on Bender. The dare is to kiss a fish, but Chowder walks down the dock of shame and refuses)

(Duncan's turn: The bottle lands on Schnitzel. The dare is the arm-wrestle with Chef and win. Duncan does this and succeeds in a hurry)

Duncan: (In montage) Yeah!

(Harold's turn: The bottle lands on Leshawna. The dare is to watch a chick flick. Harold does this and succeeds in watching the whole chick flick movie. Harold falls to the ground, his groin erected)

Chris: (In montage) Uh… weird.

(Finally, the montage ends. All but Owen and Harold, with piles of freebies laying next to them, are still sitting next to the game show-esque table)

Chris: Finally, we've gone down to the final round. Harold, you're up! (Harold walks up to the bottle and spins it. Then, it stops on Lindsay) Oh! You're not gonna like this one! Get your hair shaved off by Chef Hatchet!

Harold: I CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!!!! (Runs out of the auditorium. Chris raises Owen's right arm up)

Chris: Owen wins!!!

**Who voted for who:**

**Duncan: Chowder and Phineas.**

**Courtney: Chowder.**

**Harold: Phineas.**

**Peter: Phineas and Chowder.**

**Chowder: Phineas.**

**Owen: Chowder.**

**Gwen: Phineas, Harold and Chowder.**

**Izzy: Harold and Chowder.**

**Phineas: Harold and Chowder.**

**Total:**

**Harold: 3.**

**Chowder: 7.**

**Phineas: 5.**

**The two voted off: Chowder and Phineas.**

**Bottom 3 (And also got the glorious final fluffy and tasty marshmallow of the bonfire ceremony): Harold.**

(The bonfire ceremony. Marshmallows are given out to all but Harold, Chowder and Phineas. Duncan is covered in lip-stick)

Harold: What happened with you?

Duncan: Courtney kissed me… a lot!

Chris: (Chuckles) Kudos to you all for a glorious day of dares! Dog food! Armpit hair! Barfing! But all I have here in my plate is a marshmallow, and two of you will not return to Total Cartoon Island Return… ever! (Dramatic music) The final marshmallow… (More dramatic music) goes to… (Even more dramatic music) Harold!

Harold: Yes!!! (Goes to get his marshmallow)

Chris: Sorry, dudes! You're not safe, which means you are now out of the contest forever, or until the next season! (Phineas and Chowder sadly walk down the Dock of Shame, hitch a ride on the Boat of Losers and leave Total Cartoon Island Return forever. Chris pops up on screen)

Chris: Oh! I just forgot to say that in the final five in the competition, the person who returns _will_ return! See ya next time, kiddies! (Fade to black)

(End episode 18)


End file.
